[Time-Management] 365 Thoughts for Self Improvement

 

17th May 2013

 

Check the Quality of Your Attention

 

I think the one lesson I have learned is that there is no substitute for paying attention.

 

Diane Sawyer

 

We have often heard that there is no substitute for hard work. In fact, if we think for a while, we cannot work hard if we don't pay attention. Paying attention is a very important quality that we have to develop. Paying attention means that we are fully involved in what we are doing and that our mind is fully on the task on hand. Through our five senses we communicate with the world outside. We see, hear, smell, taste and feel. The quality of these sensations depends upon the quality of our attention and attention span.

 

Attention is the ability to focus our mind on one thing. Attention span is the duration of our attention. Our mind is normally distracted and disturbed and jumping from one thought to another. A wavering mind will not gather any momentum. Our mind and thoughts have to be contained and controlled. It does not come to us naturally. We have to train our mind.

 

The most important pre-requisite for paying attention is our interest level. If we do not have interest in what we are doing, we will not get involved and consequently we will not pay attention. Next time you watch a cricket match or a football match, notice the quality and intensity of the players' attention and evaluate yours on your job.

 

Success or failure depends on the ability to pay attention to details. This factor also determines how much you can climb in your chosen field.

 

Stop reading this and check the quality of your attention: Can you recall the above quotation without reading it again?

 

N.C. Sridharan

 

www.thetimefoundation.com

 

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[Time-Management] 365 Thoughts for Self Improvement

 

16th May 2013

 

Focus on Your Inner Dialogue

 

Little progress can be made by merely attempting to repress what is evil; our great hope lies in developing what is good.

 

Calvin Coolidge

 

The dictionary meaning of the word `repress' is `bring under control by force', `try not to have or show a thought or feeling', `trying to keep your feelings or desires hidden'. We cannot make any progress by repressing our feelings or actions which we want to do out of our natural instinct. If we attempt to repress either our own feelings or the feelings of others, it will amount to manipulation. Such a change cannot last long.

 

On the other hand, we should focus our efforts in developing what is good. We have to choose to do what is good and not be compelled not to do what we should not do. Stephen Covey says that between fight and flight, human beings have the freedom to choose what is good. We should educate ourselves on what is good for us and focus on it.

 

Instead of saying, `I don't want to be lazy', say `I want to be active'; instead of saying, `I don't want to overeat', say `I want to eat right'; instead of saying `I don't want to smoke', say `I want to quit smoking for good'. This inner dialogue will give us the mental stamina to focus on what we choose. The more we repress ourselves, the more we will feel the tension and stress.

 

Over this weekend, list all the things which you have been repressing and see whether you can focus your attention to develop what is good.

 

N.C. Sridharan

 

www.thetimefoundation.com

 

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[Time-Management] 365 Thoughts for Self Improvement

 

15th May 2013

 

Words Can Make and Break Relationships

 

Handle them carefully, for words have more power than atom bombs.

 

Pearl Strachan

 

Spoken words, sped arrow and lost time will not come back. We have the liberty to use any word in any way. But we cannot have the power to stop the consequences of our words. Words can make and break relationships. Communication can be a very big tool to leverage our interpersonal rapport.

 

It is not what we mean but how we express is very important. Sometimes we may hurt or harm someone else's feelings knowingly or unknowingly. Like a crack in a glass, some relationships may be impossible to mend once strained.  Years of friendship may be destroyed in a moment of emotional outburst.

 

We may have any number of reasons to be emotional and impulsive. But the person receiving the same may not and need not appreciate it. Spoken words are too powerful to be forgotten.

 

Over this weekend, do an important exercise. List at least three occasions where you got into a relationship problem with an important person. Recall what words you used and how you used the same. Place yourself in that person's position and introspect how you would have taken the same.

 

Maybe it will also be a good idea to do a small audit of how you talk with others, and check if there is a communication gap between how you express and how you should be expressing.

 

N.C. Sridharan

 

www.thetimefoundation.com

 

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[Time-Management] 365 Thoughts for Self Improvement

 

14th May 2013

 

Programming the Mind: Must Have vs. Must Want

 

Humans have the remarkable ability to get exactly what they must have. But there is a difference between a `must' and a `want.'

 

Jim Rohn

 

Wanting to have something comes before having it! Read it again and you will be surprised to know how true this statement is. Human beings are very different from other species. Not only can we want something, we can also devise a strategy to get what we want.

 

It all starts with a weak desire, and the desire occupies our thoughts. Then the thought occupies our entire mind. What is in our mind permeates through our subconscious mind. We even dream about what we want to have.

 

When this happens, we feel we must want it. This state of mind gives us the mental and physical stamina to work for what we feel we must have. We become determined and focused. When this state of mind continues, we become obsessed and we don't think about anything other than what we sincerely want.

 

The more and more we want something, the more and more we get `programmed' like a computer. In a computer, once the programme is installed, it becomes `user friendly', which means that we can use the programme easily. There is a `flow' and we need not struggle to get the output from the computer.

 

Similarly, when our mind is programmed to get what we really want, the programme runs smoothly and we start having what we wanted. One way to programme our mind is to decide clearly what we want and go on repeating in our mind `I want it, I want it, I want it….' Do this exercise sincerely and you will know the difference between a `must have' and a `must want'!

 

N.C. Sridharan

 

www.thetimefoundation.com

 

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[Time-Management] 365 Thoughts for Self Improvement

 

13th May 2013

 

Using Negative Emotions Constructively

 

If you wish to travel far and fast, travel light. Take off all your envies, jealousies, unforgiveness, selfishness, and fears.

 

 Glenn Clark

 

We have goals of various terms: long term, medium term and short term. We also have our day-to-day activities which cannot be ignored. The challenge in front of most of us is to keep our focus on our long-term goals in spite of whatever happens in our daily life. The secret lies in our ability to remain balanced.

 

Sometimes we are thrown out of gear due to our negative emotions and moods. The most common negative feelings are envy, jealousy, unforgiveness, selfishness and fear. We need to set a benchmark and compare our performance. But such a comparison should be constructive and should propel us into action. It should not retard our progress and effort.

 

Envy and jealousy have to be handled and channelled properly to give us the energy to be proactive and constructive. Else we will become very selfish and negative.

 

The quality of forgiving is very important. The ability to forgive not only others but also ourselves is very important to overcome setbacks and failures on our path to success. We have to accept the fact that we are human beings and we may make mistakes and it is okay to fail or struggle. This state of mind will allow us to analyse the reason for our failure and to take the failure as a failure of our effort and not a failure of ourselves.

 

Of course fear is a natural instinct. But fear has to be used as a positive energy and we should not allow fear to dampen our enthusiasm.

 

Perhaps you can do a frank introspection whether the above negative emotions are in any way stopping your progress.

 

N.C. Sridharan

 

www.thetimefoundation.com

 

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[Time-Management] 365 Thoughts for Self Improvement

 

10th May 2013

 

`I Wish' vs. `I Will'

 

The most important thing in life is to stop saying `I wish' and start saying `I will'. Consider nothing impossible, and then treat possibilities as probabilities.

 

David Copperfield

 

There is an inbuilt power in each word we use to motivate us. Our conscious mind may not know that. But our subconscious mind will know. Even without our being aware, we are programming ourselves, and all our external behaviour is a result of this internal programme.

 

Just recall the last time you climbed a mountain either by foot or by a conveyance. The steeper the mountain, the more should be your effort level. Your effort level should be supported by your physical stamina. Your physical stamina should be supplemented by your mental stamina. In an automobile, when you press the accelerator, more fuel and air are rushed to the combustion chamber of the engine compartment and fired. This accelerates the engine and consequently the automobile surges forward. This principle is highly relevant when it comes to tapping our hidden potential. Whenever we want to strain our physical body, our mind has to be `ignited'. For this, our inner dialogue plays a very important role.

 

When we say `we wish', a certain amount of mental energy is released. When we say `we will', the mental energy that is released is much more. You have to experience this difference.

 

Do a small exercise. Identify two projects: for example, `to improve my handwriting' and `to reduce my weight'. For one project repeat this mantra internally: `I wish to improve my handwriting'. For the other project repeat this: `I will reduce my weight'. At the end of one month, check your handwriting and your weight. You will understand what I mean!

 

N.C. Sridharan

 

www.thetimefoundation.com

 

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[Time-Management] 365 Thoughts for Self Improvement

 

9th May 2013

 

Change in Us: Good or Bad

 

There is nothing wrong with change if it is in the right direction.

 

Winston Churchill

 

We are always busy, but the question is, `Busy in doing what?' We are always working; the question is, `What are we working at?' We are always communicating, but the question is, `What are we communicating?' We are always thinking, but the question is, `What are we thinking?' Similarly we are always changing, but the question is, `Is the change good or bad?'

 

The one thing which does not change is change itself. There have been a lot of changes taking place, both inside of us and outside as well. By the time you finished reading this sentence, some cells would have grown and some would have died in your body. Some thoughts would have entered your mind and some other would have left your mind.

 

In a factory, the production takes place continuously – both good products and scrap. No one produces scrap intentionally. Creation of scrap is a natural process. Similarly, some unwanted changes also take place in us, like the weeds that grow along with good plants.

 

We have to do a self-audit once in a year to check the quality and direction of change in us. Perhaps, we can choose the New Year Day or our birthday, which is emotional. We can make two lists: in one we list all the good changes that happened in our life and in the other, we list all the not-so-good changes.  For example, `I have changed my food habit by saying `no' to oily food' and `I have started social drinking'. After making the two lists, check which list is longer, and this will tell you which way you are progressing and whether the change is for good or for worse!

 

N.C. Sridharan

 

www.thetimefoundation.com

 

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[Time-Management] 365 Thoughts for Self Improvement

 

8th May 2013

 

First Change Yourself

 

Give to the world the best you have, and the best will come back to you.

 

Ella Wheeler Wilcox

 

The world is not a perfect place, and we are here to perfect the society around us. When we see people around us behaving not so perfectly, we blame them, complain about them or criticize them. Sometimes, we label them that they are not good. However, this approach is not going to make any difference. We will end up advocating the principle of helplessness.

 

If you think for a while, you will understand that we can make a difference in our own way to redeem the society. We can give the world the best we have and `enroll' people whom we know into this movement. If we do this honestly and sincerely, this `redemption movement' will gain momentum. Over a period of time, we will see more people becoming proactive and taking the first step towards making their contribution.

 

This is how any movement starts. Whatever you do, resolve today to do it in the best way. Ask yourself whether you can improve your performance and sincerely implement. Share this idea with at least five persons today. Let those five people bring another five people and allow this movement to catch on.

 

Don't try to change the world. First change yourself and some people who are very near to you. Do this sincerely and set aside a time frame everyday to this important society-building portfolio and see the result over a period of time. You will notice that what goes around will come around!

 

N.C. Sridharan

 

www.thetimefoundation.com

 

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[Time-Management] 365 Thoughts for Self Improvement

 

7th May 2013

 

Responsibility of Parents

 

We may not be able to prepare the future for our children, but we can at least prepare our children for the future.

 

Franklin D. Roosevelt

 

There are certain things we cannot change. We need to adapt ourselves to manage them. The future is bright, but the going will be tough. The opportunity that we are going to have will come with its own challenges. We need to become fit to exploit all the opportunities that the future is going to offer.

 

We need to keep this in mind as our children grow. The skills and abilities that are required to manage the future will be completely different from the skills that are required today or even in the past. That is why in organizations, employees are taken through what is called executive and management training.

 

Our life is also an organization in which we expect our children to produce certain results and outcome. Just like an executive is prepared and trained to meet the business challenges, our children should also be trained and developed to manage the problems they are going to face in their life.

 

Just like the human resources manager in an organisation takes care of the development of the executives, the parents should take the responsibility to develop the soft skills in their children. I repeat: The parents should take up this responsibility, and not the school. The schools can concentrate on the syllabus and maybe to some extent on the soft skill development.

 

Basic survival skills like communication, assertiveness, time management, leadership, motivation, empowerment, lateral thinking, creativity, interpersonal skills, etc. are very important to succeed in life.

 

Over this weekend, can you ponder over this idea and eke out a plan of action to meet this requirement in your child?

 

N.C. Sridharan

 

www.thetimefoundation.com

 

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