[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

9th May 2011

`Whenever you're in conflict with someone, there is one factor that can make the difference between damaging your relationship and deepening it. That factor is attitude'

William James

Throughout the day we do various activities. At no point of time we can say `I'm doing nothing'. Our time is always filled up with some activity or other. Like we are always thinking something or other, we are always doing some work or other. But, the critical issue is: has our work resulted in the expected result? If at the end of work, nothing takes place, we might as well done nothing! We have to focus not only on our activity level, but also check if we have met the objective set for doing the activity.

I want to give an anecdote. Last weekend me, my wife and my daughter had been to a restaurant. It was a very hot day, and the restaurant was very warm. There was not much of a rush, may be it was not a peak hour time. We occupied a table on one side of the hall. After sitting for a while, we noticed that the wall mounted fan placed over our table was not working. We called the waiter and requested him to switch on the fan and he pressed a switch on the switch board. Again after a while we noticed, that the fan over our table was not working, and the waiter had switched on the fan which is next to our table. We thought that the waiter had done this by mistake, and called him and requested him to switch on the fan over our head. His reply was very funny! He said that the fan over our head was defective and requested us to occupy the other table where the fan was rotating!

This behaviour of the waiter did not irritate me, since these days I am focusing more on the attitude of people rather than on their external behaviour. The following issues came to my mind:

  • If the waiter knew that the fan over our table was not working, should he not say so and request us to occupy the other table?
  • At least after he switched on the other fan, he could have told us that the fan over our table was not working. Why did he not do it?
  • He only responded after we called him that the purpose of our requesting him to switch on the fan was not met and he did not show any sign of regret about his poor service!

May be we have to be more sensitive if we are meeting the reasonable expectations of people. It is this factor which builds or breaks our relationships. People are intelligent enough to look beyond our external behaviour and understand our attitude/

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

6th May 2011

"I who am blind can give one hint to those who see: Use your eyes as if tomorrow you would be stricken blind. And the same method can be applied to the other senses. Hear the music of voices, the song of a bird, the mighty strains of an orchestra, as if you would be stricken deaf tomorrow. Touch each object as if tomorrow your tactile sense would fail. Smell the perfume of flowers, taste with relish each morsel, as if tomorrow you could never smell and taste again. make the most of every sense; glory in the beauty which the world in all the facets of pleasure reveals to you through the several means of contact which Nature provides. But of all the senses, I am sure that sight is the most delightful."
— Helen Keller

This week I had to visit a couple of my friends who are undergoing some treatment. I accompanied my mother to an eye hospital where she underwent cataract surgery. I also visited my friend who is undergoing a treatment for what people call is dementia. The symptoms or consequence of dementia is loss of memory, language, problem solving and attention. My friend says that he is not able to remember even small things such as names of his even close relatives, friends etc. He says that he forgets where he kept his car key; he forgets the password for his computer. In the hospital I read some literature on what this ailment is about.

In the eye hospital, I came across people who are being led by their children or friends since they cannot see. I even say some very young babies having serious eye problems. I saw a six months old child who had undergone a major eye surgery. I could see the anxiety on the face of the young couple. I could guess that they would give anything in the world to restore the eyesight of their child.

These things made me to think what we do with the most precious things God has given us, our sight, our memory, our lungs, heart etc. We don't understand their importance until they are impaired. In fact all these `human gadgets' are rated for a heavy duty performance unless they are tampered with. We don't understand their importance and we spoil them. Or we don't use them for proper use when they are available to us.

Supposing you are told that your eye sight will be lost in the next six months, and there are people who have been told so, how will you be using your eyes? If you know that you can store only twenty more numbers in your mobile phone, how will be using the available memory? Do we understand how significant is the thing called `scarcity'?

Do we use our memory when we have this god given gift? How did you dial a telephone number some twenty years ago? Did you not remember and dial? And now? Did you expose your eyes to radiation and excessive light some twenty years ago as you are doing now? Isn't it strange that we don't understand the value of something unless we lose them?

Why not do a small exercise. Starting from tomorrow, try to dial a telephone number by remembering the same and not using your memory. You will understand how you've lost your memory not due to any sickness, but due to your own habit! Do one more exercise. Close your eyes for just ten minutes and try to reach out to the various things that you handle and realise how important is your eyesight!

You need not lose something to realise their value. All that is required is a conscious awareness of their value!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

5th May 2011

If one cannot command attention by one's admirable qualities one can at least

be a nuisance.
Margery Allingham

The time now is 3 am I started to type today's newsletter. My house is situated on the main highway. My attention is drawn by an ambulance going on the road with a loud siren. It was so load that I opened the door to look out what's happening. By the time I opened the door, the ambulance had gone. I stepped into the road. I noticed that the road was empty and there was no one on the road. There was not even a cycle on the road.

I was thinking: why did the ambulance driver use the siren when there is no traffic at all on the road! If at all there is a purpose for the alarm in an ambulance, it is to alert the traffic that there is a life in danger and seeking their cooperation and help to give way for the ambulance. The act of the ambulance driver is a nuisance not only to the people who may be sleeping, but also to the patient who is being taken in the ambulance. For the attendants in the ambulance, it might create an anxiety and mental disturbance. Was the ambulance driver using the siren just because it was available to him?

This incident made me to ponder over the following issues of human behaviour:

  • Do we use our mobile cell phone just because it is there even though there is no need to use the same?
  • Do we spend money buying things, just because we have money at our disposal even though we can manage without the thing being purchased?
  • Do we misuse our power and authority just because we have the same?
  • Do we eat junk food just because it is offered to us or available to us?
  • Do we offer unsolicited help to others just because there are people who cannot say `no' to our advice?
  • Do we seek the help of people just because they are available, even though we can do our work by ourselves?

May be you can also audit your behavioural patterns to check is there is gap between what you need to do and what you are actually doing1

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Making of a Genius

 

4th May 2011

Subject: `Making of a Genius'

You may be aware that I am spending a lot of my time in helping school and college students so that they can use their talents effectively.  I have been received intensive training in Neuro Linguistic Programming (NLP) from United States during the last 15 years. I introduce NLP Principles t to students, parents and teachers so that they can do very well in their life.

I am happy announce that Doordharshan Chennai (Podhikai TV) will be telecasting a serial on Education and Accelerated Learning for 25 minutes on all Thursdays from at 5.05 pm from 5th May 2011 and I am the resource person for this along with my wife.

You will get an answer for most of the educated related issues in these episodes. Please set aside some time and watch these episodes if you feel this will be of interest to you.

Please pass on this message to your friends and relatives. Needless to say that I will be delighted to receive your feedback!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

4th May 2011

`The life of a man consists not in seeing visions and in dreaming dreams, but in active charity and in willing service'

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

What will make you to persist asking for help or persist extending help? Especially when it comes to asking for help, an external factor is in control. You cannot be sure how the other person is going to take your request for help. You cannot expect that everyone will be as interested in your project as you are. The situation is more complicated when you seek help to benefit someone else.

You will experience this when you take up a project of public interest. In this you are not the beneficiary and your project is going to help someone else. For example you start a club or association to preserve the environment. Or you start a magazine to propagate some values in the society. Or start a old age home. In these situations, you need the help and support of a wide range of people. The larger the project, the bigger will be the task of resource mobilization. Especially when you are not in a position to influence others, you will find it extremely difficult to solicit and get help. On these occasions, the degree of your perseverance will be in direct proportion to how much you are dedicated to your project.

Somewhere I read an anecdote about Mother Teresa, and I don't know if it is true. But the content of what I read impressed me a lot and I would like to present the same.

The story goes back to the initial days when Mother Teresa started her charitable society to help the poor and needy. Obviously she was in need of lot of help. We approached a lot of people in Calcutta. Some helped and some others did not. Some went to the extent of abusing her saying that she is in the project of converting people from one religion to another. But Mother knew that her mission is very noble and sacred.

There was one very wealthy person in Calcutta whom she approached persistently. But he did not help her. She persisted in asking for help. He got very angry and irritated and abused her. But she did not give up. One day, she went and asked him to help with stretched hands seeking his help. It is said that he got so angry that he spit on her palms. But, mother looked at his face and calmly said, `Sir, I will take this for me, but give something else for my destitute children!'. These sincere words touched the emotions of that rich person and donated a lot of money and property!

As I said, I do not know if the above incident took place, but the moral of the story is very important: you will not stop asking for help, if you sincerely and honestly want help!

A crying child gets milk!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimfoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

3rd May 2011

Have you had a kindness shown? Pass it on; `Twas not given for thee alone, Pass it on; Let it travel down the years, Let it wipe another's tears, Till in Heaven the deed appears, Pass it on. - Henry Burton

I am writing this sitting in front of a Government Office for the past three hours to receive an office order and the person in charge does not seem to notice that I need his prompt attention, which in fact is his duty. I tried to remind him about my work, but he got angry and felt upset. Here's is a situation where I am in dire need of someone's help which is not taking place. I get a question in my mind: what makes a person to help another? What makes the help voluntary and pure?

Next time you meet a mother helping a child, notice the quality of the help. Isn't pure and sincere help? Observe the face of the mother and try to figure out what's going on in her mind? Does she help the child for anything in return? If the child is not able to say `thank you', will it in any way stop the mother from helping? Imagine sixty years later and the same child as a grown up person and the mother an old lady now. Will the child help the mother in her old age as voluntarily as the mother helped the child when she was a child?

One attitude you should have which will trigger you to offer help voluntarily and sincerely is `compassion'. The dictionary meaning of the word `compassion' is to take pity'. The mother knows that the child cannot read on his own or cannot walk on its own and so takes pity on the child. The dictionary meaning of the word `pity' is a feeling of sorrow for someone else' suffering.

With these two words in mind, now look at the help rendered by the mother to the child and you will understand what makes her to help the child!  With this clarity we can explain why a doctor is extremely helpful and what makes a teacher to be a role model. Now you will be able to understand what made Mother Teresa to do what she did or Florence Nightingale to be celebrated as a role model for any nurse. Florence Nightingale believed that she has been ordained by God to be a nurse she came to be known dubbed as ` The Lady with the lamp' because she had the habit of making rounds in the war fields to attend to the soldiers at night.

Now I go back to the government office example. Unless the person concerned is compassionate, he is not going to help me!

Now take a paper and pencil and jot down what is your `compassion quotient' and this will explain if you will help another person in time.

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

2nd may 2011

`All noise is waste. So cultivate quietness in your speech, in your thoughts, in your emotions. Speak habitually low. Wait for attention and then your low words will be charged with dynamite'

Elbert Hubbard

Extending our help and receiving help is an interesting topic and we can write and think about it to any length. The objective of helping someone is to make him feel happy and comfortable. If this objective is not met, then the very purpose of help is lost. Sometimes our help will be a disturbance. We should know when to help when not to help. Sometimes doing nothing can also a big help done to others! On many occasions, our silence can be a big help to others! I can give a few examples:

  • If a person is very clear about some issue, why volunteer help and confuse him?
  • A person is sick and admitted in the intensive care unit and doctors are very clear that no one should disturb the person. Why break all the rules and meet him in the ICU?
  • By nature someone is not too happy to receive help. Why offer help and embarrass him and ourselves?
  • A person is mature enough to take his own decisions and actions. Why volunteer advice and help unasked for?
  • It may be Sunday and your friend is relaxing in the afternoon over a nap. Why telephone him and ask him `are you relaxing?'

One area we can seriously control is too much of telephone calls, sms, e mails and reminders. All of us existed some twenty years ago when we did not have access to all these electronic gadgets and facilities. Life was very blissful and harmonious. After the mobile phones and sms, perhaps we are suffering from too much follow up and reminders. More often than not, our accessibility itself has become a nuisance! Can we resolve that we will not call another person by mobile or sms after 7 pm everyday and on holidays! Can we resolve that we will not forward any sms and e mails to others just because we found them to be interesting?

Think. There are many ways you can help others by not helping!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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