[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

22nd October 2010

Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.

Emily Dickinson

 

Ever heard of the universal doubt `which came first, the chicken or the egg?' So is the question whether we should wait for an opportunity and get ready, or be ready to exploit any opportunity. You do not know when your idea will work and which of your ideas will work. You also do not know when an opportunity will come. Someone said opportunities come disguised as challenges.

In my time management seminars I ask the participants to ask themselves two questions:

·         Am I fit for today, and

·         Am I ready for tomorrow?

We may be very much fit for today and we may be the best in the industry. But that does not mean that we will continue to be the best tomorrow also.

For writing my book The Gift of Time, I interviewed over five hundred successful people. Some of them are world class people, leading sports personalities, media persons, writers, politicians, successful business people etc. Some of them are also very successful parents having produced world class personalities.

One common denominator I noticed in all these people is: they are always alert! They are ready for any opportunity and their response time is very fast. They always have more than one option and more than one strategy. They are restless to keep themselves in this state of readiness. They are proactive. They are creative. They are very active. They bubble with enthusiasm. Their enthusiasm is contagious. Their presence is electrifying to those who are around them!

Over this weekend, ask this question: in the last six months, how many opportunities you allowed to slip by for the only reason that they were not ready?

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Ignited Child!

 

22nd October 2010.

The Me, You and the Other!

Basically when we were born, we only know our wants and desires, our own feelings, our needs and requirement. This is called the `self' position in NLP. We look at the world from our own perspective and point of view. We have our own map of the world. We evaluate the world from our own rule book and values. When someone does what we like, we say they are right. Else, they are wrong!

As we grow, we interact with the first other human being, primarily the mother. We start understanding what the mother wants from us. As we grow further, we are introduced to the father, and slowly with the other members of the family. In due course of time, we start looking at the world from the other person's point of view. This is called the `other' position in NLP.

When we go through the experience called life, we become mature and try to detach ourselves and start looking at things impartially. In this situation, we are not attached to any point of view and we are open to evaluate the various issues objectively. This is called the `observer' position in NLP.

We should train ourselves to look at various issues from all the three perspectives. Take for example how do you feel when your child does not do the homework and instead watches at the `useless' television show. You get angry and blame that the child is not responsible. But did you ever place yourself in the position of your child and look at the experience of doing the homework versus watching the television? If you have the same maturity level of the child, would you switch off the television and do the homework?

With this realisation, next time when your child watches the television instead of doing the homework, notice your internal experience! You will not feel as irritated as earlier! This is the concept of `perceptual position' in NLP!

Read further...

N C Sridharan and Radha Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Ignited Child!

 

21stOctober 2010

Perceptual Position

The whole concept of NLP is about building a mutually respectful and lasting relationship between people. Unless we respect each other, we will not have the rapport required to work as a team. The most important team in life is the family. The team spirit between the parents and the children is very important to reach the well formed outcome.

If you really think for a while, each family has a well formed outcome. The parents want the children to do well in their life. The children also want their parents to be happy. But some families, it remains as a wish or a dream only. When the members of the family want to implement the dream, they come across lack of cooperation and support.

In order to achieve the overall objectives of the family, we need to place ourselves in the shoes of the other members of the family instead of looking at life only from our own narrow perspective and point of view.

In NLP parlance, we call it as perceptual position. It is nothing but the concept of empathy expanded a little bit more.

There are three positions – self, other and observer. If we understand these three perceptual positions and look at the issue, our thought process will change and we will be able to understand why a child behaves in a particular way and what we can do to change the same. NLP is not about changing others. It is also about changing ourselves. A basic understanding of perceptual position will give us the maturity of mind of not only understanding others, but also be flexible in our own approach.

Becoming inquisitive to know more about perceptual position? Continue to read...

N C Sridharan and Radha Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

21st October 2010

"The fact that you are willing to say, `I do not understand, and it is fine,' is the greatest understanding you could exhibit."

Wayne Dyer

 

To understand something and someone are two different things! If you want to understand a computer or an electronic gadget, there are manuals which you can read. Or there are people who can teach you that. But understanding a person? For that matter understanding yourself? Can you say that you have understood yourself fully? Can you explain why you do something and why you do it that way? The same applies to others.

We can try to understand everything about a computer and can even feel unhappy  if we have not understood some aspect our computer. The reason is the fact that if we try we can know everything about a computer. But this is  not so in understanding people.

People are much difficult to understand than things. We should not be shocked or surprised if people let us down at a most crucial time. We should also not be surprised if we get the help from the most unexpected people. It's fine if we face such surprises.

So what's the remedy? May be we should not take people for granted. May be we should not depend on people too much. May be we should not assume that we have understood others well. May be we should believe that perhaps we have not understood ourselves fully.

May be you can start a new daily exercise. Every time someone lets you down, write one learning point from that experience. Every time you get some unexpected help from someone, write down how did it happen and what did you do to deserve the same? Check if you have been understood by others well. Check if you spring a surprise on others.

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

20th October 2010

"All I would tell people is to hold onto what was individual about themselves, not to allow their ambition for success to cause them to try to imitate the success of others. You've got to find it on your own terms."

Harrison Ford

We are all born as unique and special entities. We are not a product of mass production of a factory, but each one of us a master piece. Int he entire world there is not another person exactly like us, with our thumb impression, our facial expression, our emotions and attitude.

In terms of skill and potential also we are unique and we should try to tap the same. We should have role models as our benchmark, but that does not mean we should do exactly what they did to succeed.

Imitating external behaviour will not produce world class performance. Imitations cannot become the original. You cannot duplicate Mahatma Gandhi or Mother Teresa. But you can duplicate their mindset and attitude. You can duplicate their principles in life. You can duplicate their approach to issues and problems of life. You can duplicate their philosophy of living for a public cause.

The problem with many of us is the fact that we want to be succeeding like someone succeeded, without doing an `original research' on us. We need to meditate and ponder over ourselves. We need to discover what hidden talent we have deep inside us. We need to discover our own weaknesses and try to have a strategy to overcome the same. Our weaknesses and strengths may be unique which may not be present in others. We have to be conscious about the same.

Moreover, just because a strategy worked with someone in a specific context, it does not mean that the same will work in our case. For example, Mahatma Gandhi's strategy of non violence and satyagraha worked at a time he lived in that context. Will it work now in our context?

Think!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Ignited Child!

 

20th October 2010

`There is no such thing as failure, only feedback!'

This is a very important NLP presupposition. In life we want something and work for the same. Sometimes we may get the same, and at some other times, we may not get what we wanted. When we get what we want, we conclude we are successful. On the other hand, whenever we don't get what we aimed, we conclude we are a failure. This presupposition is useful while dealing with failure.

As explained elsewhere, NLP is a powerful tool to put us in a resourceful state of mind. We have two `states of mind' called the present and the desired. At a point of time, we may come across a failure, but such failures have to be taken as a passing cloud. We have reassure ourselves that this present failure will pass and that we are not a failure, but it merely our actions did not not yiled the desired result.

Children are very emotional and cannot control their emotions. They become very happy when they get what they want. They become very sad when they don't get what they wanted. Given their lack of maturity, they may conclude that just because they failed once, they will not succeed at all. We have to get them out of this mindset.

Children have to be taught that a failure is a feed back and not an evaluation of their real worth. If a child fails in an examination, he should be made to believe that his actions failed to produce the desired result, but that does not mean that he is a failure. The feedback is more on his effort level and not on his capacity to succeed.

If the children are made to understand the meaning of this simple presupposition, it will make a very big difference in their self image, self confidence and self worth.

N C Sridharan and Radha Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Ignited Child!

 

19th October 2010

                                                               `Ignited Child'

`When what you are doing is not working, do something else, do anything else'

NLP is about bringing about a mindset change in a non-manipulative way.  When we want to bring about a change, there will be resistance.  In fact, resistance and indiscipline are natural. There is always a resistance force and a frictional force.  We need efforts to overcome the resistance and keep moving by neutralising the frictional force.  It is a simple law of physics.

If you think for a while, indiscipline is also natural.  Trees do not grow in a straight line and rivers do not flow in a perfect geometrical shape. It is up to us to direct the growth of a tree or the flow of a river.  This principle applies to the formation of human behaviour and habits also. The children may not like it, but they have to fall into an effective behavioural pattern. Of course, they will resist and we have to deal with the resistance appropriately.

Children are naturally inclined to do what they want.  They may not be naturally inclined to switch off the TV. They will not be willing to stop playing and concentrate on studies.  We have to take specific and focused efforts.  NLP believes that we have to be flexible in our process to get what we want.  When we do something and we do not get the results, we have to keep trying and do something else until we get the result we wanted.  The easiest way is to resort to blaming, complaining, criticizing, avoiding and labelling others is non-cooperative. But the most effective way is to change our way of communication until the results are achieved.

If you continue to do what you have been doing, you will continue to get what you have been getting. If you want something different, do something different.

N.C. SRIDHARAN

www.thetimefoundation.com

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