[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

29th April 2011

Misfortune shows those who are not really friends.

Aristotle

While I was thinking about the concept of helping each other, I thought I should touch upon one more dimension about the emotional aspect while helping. Perhaps you have heard about people whose `left hand will not know when their right hand is helping'. Helping is a noble act of loving each other and perhaps the charm of receiving help or offering help is lost when there is publicity about helping.

I recall an incident when I visited Japan way back in 1986 as part of the Indian team which participated in the seminar on Motivation for Productivity organised by the Asian Productivity Organisation (APO), Tokyo. It was an international seminar which was attended by over 60 delegates from all over the Asian countries. It was a scholarship offered by Asian Productivity Organisation and all of us were given an allowance calculated on a per day basis for thirty days.

On the first day of our seminar all of were given the money in cash kept in an envelope. That day evening we all left for our hotel room by train. Unfortunately, one of the participants lost all the money in the travel. He reported this to us on the next day morning when we assembled in the training hall. He was totally upset. Knowing that he would be paid the allowance by the APO, he did not bring enough money from home. And on the top of it, all of were absolute strangers and we were meeting each other for the first time. The incident takes place on the very first day, even before any familiarity and friendship could develop among us!

All of us did not know what to do and how to respond. Immediately, my friend from Delhi, Anil Sachdev, whom also I met first time that day, took the lead. He made an announcement that we should all help the person with whatever money we could and passed on a plastic bag requesting us to drop our contribution into the bag. He said that we need not announce how much we are dropping into the bag! The gag went around and at the end, we counted the collection, and it was a substantial amount! All of us felt happy and needless to say that the person who lost the money, was emotionally touched by the spontaneous help!

That day I learnt how we should spontaneously and decently help a person in need!

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

28th April 2011

God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today.  Have you used one to say "thank you?"  ~William A. Ward

An important aspect of helping is our mindset at the time we are helping someone. The motive and intention while helping will reflect your attitude. What made me to write this piece is a counseling I did today to a friend of mine.

By nature this person has a natural liking to help anyone. Every time a situation presents itself to require his help, he will be the first to help. If there is a death in a family, he will be the first to arrive there. His role in that place is not just a person consoling the bereaved family, which everybody and anybody will do. He will handle the dead body without any hesitation and attend to the minute details of the rituals that go with the occasion without any hesitation. If he finds anyone hit by a speedy motor vehicle, he will immediately stop and take that person to the nearest hospital. He will not be afraid of blood or injury. When his brother passed away, he sold his wife's jewel immediately and offered the money immediately to meet with the urgent expenses.

What is interesting about him is that he will not expect anything in return from the person who receives his help. I asked him if people had thanked him after receiving his help. He said that not only people had not thanked him, but some people who received his help even said that he did not do anything special! I asked him if he had felt bad on such occasions. His reply was very interesting: `I am keen to know how the person feels while receiving the help rather than whether he remembers my help after he receives the help'.

I learnt a simple lesson: helping should be to make the other person to feel happy, and not to make him indebted; any help done with an expectation of reciprocation will amount to a commercial transaction.

I would like to model my friend while helping!

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

27th April 2011

How do we use help and advice?

`To accept good advice is but to increase one's own ability'

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

As I wrote, there is no poverty of helpers, but only receivers. One important trait of successful people is their ability to make use of the help they receive from others. Not only they feel happy about receiving help, they also make the person extending the help happy. They respond in such a way that others feel very happy and comfortable to offer the timely help.

I recall a story I read somewhere. There a large banyan tree and hundreds of birds were living there in their nicely constructed nests. There were also monkeys which lived on the same tree. On a rainy day all the birds were safe and comfortable in their nests, but the monkeys were suffering. The birds took pity on the monkeys and they advised the monkeys to construct a house for themselves so that they also can be comfortable when it rains. The monkeys did not like this `unwanted advice' and told them to mind their business.

On another day, it not only rained, but it was also very cold. The monkeys got wet and were shivering in the cold. They collected some fireflies (also called lighting bugs) and tried to `warm up' thinking as though the fireflies can serve as heating place. As  we know, these insects have a dedicated light organs under their abdomens which glows like fire. But this light will produce no heat. The birds knew that they monkeys cannot warm up by this and told the monkeys that fireflies do not have fire. They also once again suggested to the monkeys to construct their houses, since they have the advantage of hands which the birds do not have.

The monkeys got wild and shouted at them that the birds are ridiculing them because they have houses which the monkeys don't. Not only that. They went up the tree and destroyed all the nests to `teach a lesson to the birds'!

Lesson: don't offer your help to those who will not appreciate your help!

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

27th April 2011

How do we use help and advice?

`To accept good advice is but to increase one's own ability'

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe

As I wrote, there is no poverty of helpers, but only receivers. One important trait of successful people is their ability to make use of the help they receive from others. Not only they feel happy about receiving help, they also make the person extending the help happy. They respond in such a way that others feel very happy and comfortable to offer the timely help.

I recall a story I read somewhere. There a large banyan tree and hundreds of birds were living there in their nicely constructed nests. There were also monkeys which lived on the same tree. On a rainy day all the birds were safe and comfortable in their nests, but the monkeys were suffering. The birds took pity on the monkeys and they advised the monkeys to construct a house for themselves so that they also can be comfortable when it rains. The monkeys did not like this `unwanted advice' and told them to mind their business.

On another day, it not only rained, but it was also very cold. The monkeys got wet and were shivering in the cold. They collected some fireflies (also called lighting bugs) and tried to `warm up' thinking as though the fireflies can serve as heating place. As  we know, these insects have a dedicated light organs under their abdomens which glows like fire. But this light will produce no heat. The birds knew that they monkeys cannot warm up by this and told the monkeys that fireflies do not have fire. They also once again suggested to the monkeys to construct their houses, since they have the advantage of hands which the birds do not have.

The monkeys got wild and shouted at them that the birds are ridiculing them because they have houses which the monkeys don't. Not only that. They went up the tree and destroyed all the nests to `teach a lesson to the birds'!

Lesson: don't offer your help to those who will not appreciate your help!

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

26th April 2011

 

You can make more friends in two months by becoming interested in other people than you can in two years by trying to get other people interested in you.

Dale Carnegie

I was thinking about the idea of helping and receiving help. I have seen some of my friends who have a natural instinct to help others without expecting anything in return. They extend their help because they sincerely and honestly want to help. They will feel restless if they do not help or when they are prevented from helping. This natural instinct to help is like the natural instinct of a singer to hum a tune. Similarly those who have a natural instinct to help don't wait for an occasion to offer their help. It's like the water which flows naturally from a higher surface to a lower surface!

I cannot help recalling my friend Ramdas who lives in Singapore. I don't know if he remembers an incident. Sometime in 1986 me and my wife visited Singapore for the first time. In fact it was our first ever visit abroad. We noticed that in Singapore buses, you should have exact change in the form of coins to pay for the ticket by dropping the exact amount in a machine and the machine will issue a ticket. For the first few days we were not prepared for this and we had some problem. On the fourth day when we met Ramdas, he asked us if we know about the facility they have in every bus terminal to draw loose change for currency note through a machine. We said we did not know about it. Immediately he put his hands into his pant pocket and pulled out a handful of coins and even without counting the same, thrust the same into my hands and said that I can have the coins until the next time I went to a bus terminal!

Not only that. For the entire month we stayed there, he was there for any help from shopping to sightseeing.  On the last day, he came to the airport, checked in our luggage, got us the boarding pass and wished us a safe journey home.

I held his hands and said, `Ramdas, I don't know how I'm going to reciprocate all the help we received. If you were in India, I will be able to do it. But you are in Singapore and I don't know when I will visit Singapore or when you will visit India to give me an opportunity to return your help'. The reply he gave made me to take him as my role model for helping. He said, `Sridharan, forget about returning my help to me. In your life, if there is an opportunity to help anyone, please offer your copious help to them and that help will come to me!'.

Over this weekend, evaluate your helping quotient and rate how comfortable you are on this self evaluation.

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

25th April 2011

There is no poverty of helping hands, but only receivers'

Anonymous

Last week a friend of mine invited me to have a ride in his newly purchased car. He was very excited to take me and his family for a joy ride. There was an `L' board to inform others that he is new to driving. He was very careful in driving and his driver was seated next to him. I could see a tinge of nervousness as he was driving the car.

After one kilometre of drive, something went wrong and the car stopped. He was trying to start the engine, but could not. May be there was a minor problem. His driver told him that the car can be push started. So I and the driver got down and pushed the car. My friend was on the wheels, and he was trying to engage the gear and slightly accelerate the car so that car starts. There is a knack of push starting the car and it's easy to do it. But my friend was not able to do it, since he was new to driving.

After pushing the car for some distance, the driver requested my friend to get down from the car, and got into driver's seat. We pushed the car for just ten feet and the driver was started the car very quickly.

I learnt a lesson: we should know not only to do our job well, but also how to make use of help offered by others!

We alone can succeed, but we cannot succeed alone! We need the help and support of others. There are people who can help us, but we should know how to make use of their help. How we make use of others' help is very important in the context of interpersonal relationship.

Over this week end, answer two important questions:

1.    When you are in need of help, how many people will rush to help you?

2.    How equipped are you to make use of such help?

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

22nd April 2011

Constructive use of pressure

Anyone can become angry---that is easy?

But to be angry with the right person, to the right degree, at the right time, for the right purpose, and in the right way---this is not easy.

- Aristotle

This morning I went to the kitchen and closed the outlet of my rice pressure cooker with a valve like stopper. This stopper is specifically designed for each pressure cooker taking into account the size of the pressure cooker, the metal with which it is made, the capacity of the cooker, the design of the lid etc. If properly designed, the pressure cooker is a convenient kitchen gadget and you can cook rice and vegetable within a short period of time. If the pressure cooker is not designed properly, it could turn out to be dangerous and even lead to loss of life. Sometimes the steam stopper gets worn out and the contents of the pressure cooker are not cooked properly since there is a loss of steam.

As I was in the kitchen on this `important portfolio', I looked at the pressure cooker. Something struck me. Are we not like a pressure cooker cooking a lot of ideas into action within us? Don't we use our emotions and feelings to process of food of thoughts and ideas? Are we not expected to use our emotional pressure carefully and appropriately? What happens when we let go our steam and explode? What happens when our outburst of emotions are most inappropriate?

Like the pressure cooker, there is an engineering which makes us to be effective or ineffective. I call this as `attitude engineering'. These days a product is not to be tested at the final stage of quality inspection. This was the practice some three decades ago. Now is the age of scientific management. If a product is rejected, engineers go to the design stage of the production process and correct the process and not the product.

This principle is relevant in managing human behaviour also. We should not manipulate our behaviour by suppressing all our emotions and feelings. This is similar to using a defective steam stopper and the pressure cooker will explode. We should `engineer right attitude' so that our behaviour is well modulated and controlled.

Just think about this analogy and ponder if what I have written is sensible!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

21st April 2011

 

If you want to succeed in the world you must make your own opportunities as you go on. The man who waits for some seventh wave to toss him on dry land will find that the seventh wave is a long time a-coming. You can commit no greater folly than to sit by the road side until someone comes along and invites you to ride with him to wealth or influence.

~John B. Gough

 

On any day action is better than no action. There are two options we have. One is to be proactive and go after opportunities. The other is to respond when an opportunities knocks at our doors. Successful people have a common denominator: they are proactive. They don't wait for things to happen. They make things to happen.

In the history of mankind, there are people who did original work and the their idea worked. They became role models for others to emulate. Henry Ford made the first automobile; Thomas Alva Edison made the first electric bulb; Graham Bell invented the telephone; Douglas Engelbart invented the computer mouse; Tim Berners – Lee implemented the first successful communication between a Hypertext Transfer Protocol (HTTP) client and internet.

Think about the pioneering work of Bill Gates in the area of software and that of Steve Jobs who made the computer dream a reality for a common man. Can you think of a world without computer and the Microsoft software? In the recent time the mobile telephone, more popularly known as the `cell phone', has revolutionised the way we communicate.

Or think about Sabeer Bhatia who came out with the breakthrough idea of Hotmail.

An the list is endless. All these people got an idea and developed the same by working unceasingly until they succeeded. They did not wait for an opportunity to knock at their doors. All of them were proactive.

What about you?

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

20th April 2011

I'm so fast that last night I turned off the light switch in my hotel room and was in bed before the room was dark.
Muhammad Ali

 I am amazed at the use of technology in cricket. If you are not very keen about the fun and frolic that goes on in the spectators' gallery, it is more interesting to watch the match on the television. You can see the replay, you can see the ball spinning in slow motion just in front of your eyes, you can see the direction in which the ball is spinning, you can see the bat coming into contact with the ball in slow motion, you can see the ball getting into the gloves of the wicket keeper, etc., which you cannot see if you are watching the match in person. Of course, these days, there are televisions placed in the spectators' stands.

Take the job of the umpire in the context of this technology application. There was a time when one went by the judgement of the umpire and the umpire is always right. But now? The role of the third umpire has made the job of the umpire really taxing and tough. Think about the anxiety of the umpire not to make a mistake. Consider how much alert and careful the umpire should be in observing what's going on in the crease. He should be as accurate as the powerful video camera and the technologically superior lenses to perform his job effectively and accurately.

I am surprised that more often than not, the field umpire's judgement is upheld by the third umpire. This is a testimony of the superiority of the human talent over the technologically assisted gadgets! A camera assisted umpire can take his own time and  review the stroke several times before giving his judgment. But the field umpire should give is decision on the spot instantly! He can only use his mental video camera and judgment to decide.

In LBW decisions, the field umpire should mentally visualise how the ball would travel as it reaches the stumps. He has not methodology to see the ball moving in slow motion which an electronic gadget has got. Nor does he have the time to mentally review and decide.

If you think for a while, the cricketers as a team is a good case study of how one can beat the most sophisticated technologically assisted gadgets!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

19th April 2011

``Every ball went exactly where I wanted it to go until the ball that got me out''

Don Bradman

Let's look at one more learning point from a game of cricket. It's about failing in front of thousands of people and still not giving up trying. When a batsman leaves the pavilion to the crease to play his best game, he has no clue as to how well he is going to play and how much score he is going to score. He plays in front of thousands of spectators and billions of viewers. He is fully aware and conscious that his every stroke is being watched. Whenever he plays his best shot, his fans will encourage him. He wants to score a century and he knows that his fans wants him to do exactly this.

In the recent world cup match against Pakistan, the whole world was waiting to witness Tendulkar scoring his 100th century. Just put yourself in his shoes. When everyone was waiting to see his 100th century, he plays a wrong shot and he is out! What will be our reaction when we fail? How do we process our failures at our emotional level? Isn't true that sometimes we are too sensitive about failing? Don't we give up trying?

We should learn to accept failure and stand disappointments from the cricketers. In fact it is true with reference to any sports. Just imagine your being watched by thousands of people when you're working, and everyone very anxious that you succeed. Let's take the example of passing a School Final Exam or any competitive exam. Year after year we read people committing suicides after failing in some exam.

When we fail in our business how do we react? Sometimes it's the fear of failing in front of others which is more fearful than the fact of failure itself!

Let's learn this important lesson from the cricketers!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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