28th April 2011
God gave you a gift of 86,400 seconds today. Have you used one to say "thank you?" ~William A. Ward
An important aspect of helping is our mindset at the time we are helping someone. The motive and intention while helping will reflect your attitude. What made me to write this piece is a counseling I did today to a friend of mine.
By nature this person has a natural liking to help anyone. Every time a situation presents itself to require his help, he will be the first to help. If there is a death in a family, he will be the first to arrive there. His role in that place is not just a person consoling the bereaved family, which everybody and anybody will do. He will handle the dead body without any hesitation and attend to the minute details of the rituals that go with the occasion without any hesitation. If he finds anyone hit by a speedy motor vehicle, he will immediately stop and take that person to the nearest hospital. He will not be afraid of blood or injury. When his brother passed away, he sold his wife's jewel immediately and offered the money immediately to meet with the urgent expenses.
What is interesting about him is that he will not expect anything in return from the person who receives his help. I asked him if people had thanked him after receiving his help. He said that not only people had not thanked him, but some people who received his help even said that he did not do anything special! I asked him if he had felt bad on such occasions. His reply was very interesting: `I am keen to know how the person feels while receiving the help rather than whether he remembers my help after he receives the help'.
I learnt a simple lesson: helping should be to make the other person to feel happy, and not to make him indebted; any help done with an expectation of reciprocation will amount to a commercial transaction.
I would like to model my friend while helping!
N C Sridharan
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