[Time-Management] Ignited Child!

 

14th October 2010

`Ignited Child'

                        "The meaning of your communication is the response you get"

The purpose of any communication is to get a pre-determined outcome.  If the pre-determined outcome does not take place, it means that the process of communication is not effective.

The entire process of teaching and educating takes place between a teacher and the taught.  A teacher can be a professional teacher or it could even be the mother.  Often w hear `I told my child to do her homework, but he didn't do', `I told my child to switch off the television, but he didn't ...' etc.  `Telling' is different, `communicating' is different.  Telling means we have delivered a message.  Communicating means telling in such a way that a desired behaviour takes place or the undesired behaviour is stopped.

The whole concept of NLP came on the premise that the human mind can be programmed for a pre-determined outcome.  The brain aspect of communication involves speaking and hearing.  The mind aspect of communication concerns with communicating and listening. 

Just visualise a taped message in front of your child asking him `get dressed', `do your homework', `don't waste food', `switch off the television' etc. Do you think that the child will conform to the instruction? The tape recorder is delivering a message mechanically. But a human being cannot do it. Of anyone does it, it is as good s not communicating.

As we go long, we will discuss more specific communication patterns of using NLP to improve the quality of our communication.

N.C. SRIDHARAN

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

13th October 2010

Learn from yesterday, live for today, hope for tomorrow. The important thing is not to stop questioning.
Albert Einstein

A good friend of mine forwarded an interesting piece of information about a speech Bill Gates is supposed to have spoken in a school. While don't know the details of the school, place etc, I found the content very relevant to any one and I am reproducing the same:

Rule 1 : Life is not fair - get used to it!
Rule 2 : The world doesn't care about your
Self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something BEFORE you feel good about yourself.
Rule 3 : You will NOT make $60,000 a year right out of high school. You won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.  
Rule 4 : If you think your teacher is tough, wait till you get a boss
Rule 5 : Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your Grandparents had a different word for burger flipping: they called it opportunity.
Rule 6 : If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault , so don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.
Rule 7 : Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes and listening to you talk about how cool you thought you were. So before you save the rain forest from the parasites of your parent's generation, try delousing the closet in you r own room.
Rule 8 : Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life HAS NOT. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and they'll give you as MANY TIMES as you want to get the right answer. This doesn't bear the slightest resemblance to ANYTHING in real life.
Rule 9 : Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you FIND YOURSELF. Do that on your own time.
Rule 10 : Television is NOT real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to jobs.
Rule 11 : Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.
If you agree, pass it on.
If you don't agree stick your head in the sand and take a deep breath!
If you can read this ... Thank a teacher!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Ignited Child!

 

`Ignited Child'

13th October 2010

"You cannot NOT communicate"

Many of us feel that communication means speaking or talking to others.  However experts say that words constitute merely 8% of the process of communication and the balance 92% of communication takes place non-verbally.  Facial expression, tonality, voice inflection and body language add to the quality of communication.

Children are very sensitive and observant.  They listen to the content of communication taking into account the various parameters – verbal and non-verbal.  The raised eyebrow, eye contact, facial expression, pitch emphasis etc. are all important.  Whether we are aware of it or not, we are always communicating even when we are silent.  We may intend to communicate something, but the children may actually receive the opposite what we intended.  When we greet a child on his birthday, a child can easily understand the emotional content of our communication.  In my experience, I found that the quality of communication between a parent and the child is very important to develop and maintain a healthy rapport.

When your facial expression does not match what you say, you communicate that you don't mean what you communicate. Just imagine you're watching a movie where the artist does not match his facial expression with the emotional content of the dialogue. How will you enjoy such an experience? This is what your child will experience when you  praise your child without wearing a smile on your face, or when you discipline your child with a broad smile on your face! When you advice your child to be punctual, but you don't follow the same, you communicate that it does not matter if she is late to appointment.

You have to remember that we are always communicating, whether we are aware of it or not!

N.C. SRIHARAN

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

12th October 2010

"Try to learn something about everything and everything about something."

Thomas H. Huxley

You have heard the old adage `knowledge is power'? You are judged by how much you know. Take the example of a computer. When you buy a computer, it cannot be put to immediate use unless you load the necessary software. The computer is as valuable as the variety of programmes it can run. Not only that. The computer is also evaluated by its memory capacity. The larger the memory capacity, the more will be its cost. Why do we need more capacity? We want to store as much bytes of information as possible. We talk about terra bytes of information. Once the computer is uploaded with the maximum number of files, if one day you are not able to access the computer, you become immobilised.

This comparison holds good for a human being also. We should be knowledgeable and capable of executing the most difficult tasks. It all starts with acquiring the basic knowledge. First we become a generalist. Then we take up any one area for our specialisation and invest all our time and efforts and become an expert on this. So the world expects us to be a generalist in many areas and specialist in one particular area.

Take the profile of any CEO. He has to be a generalist and a specialist. It applies to any field, be it medicine, engineering, accounting, legal etc.

Over this week end, just check if you satisfy these two conditions: Am I a generalist, and if so how much proficient am I in the over all aspects of my business? Am I a specialist? If so in what area I can say I am the authority? Am I the best in my specialist area, who is my role model and bench mark? What is the gap between my knowledge in my special area and the best in my field?

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

11th October 2010

"In the Midst of movement and chaos, keep stillness inside of you."

 Deepak Chopra

Many things may happen around you on which you have no control. In a peaceful time a tsunami may throw life out of gear. Sometime a death of a dear one may shatter you. Your best friend may cheat you. You may lose all your fortunes over night. People who are very close to you may desert you. At the peak of your career, you may lose your job.

It is at these critical moments you have to maintain your cool and balance of mind. You evaluate a driver who averts an accident at the most unexpected time and not when he drives the car on a free high way. Only when he maintains his cool, he can avoid the accident and not when he feels stressed. A doctor is at his best when he pulls a patient from the jaws of death.

In an organisation as well as in private life, crisis management is a very critical skill. Just like we learn how to perform when ideal conditions exist, we should also get trained on how to remain calm when unexpected calamities strike us.

Over this weekend you can do an exercise. Think of a time when you experienced a most turbulent event which shattered your self confidence and let that event run like a video movie. Step aside as though you are a spectator and watch the `other you' handling that situation. While doing so stay completely detached as though you are in a movie theatre someone else playing your role. Once the crisis scene has blown over, write a criticism of how that `other you' could have handled the same and what soft skill would help him to handle the same situation in a more relaxed and serene manner.

Do this exercise sincerely and notice your learning!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

8th October 2010

"There is only one you for all time. Fearlessly be yourself."

Anthony Rapp

 

In my time management and leadership development programmes I discuss an important criterion for success called `skill set' or `skill inventory'. We need some basic fundamental skills to lead a successful life. Come of the skills are very survival skills. The most important of all the skills is the ability to be outspoken and frank. We should believe that we have the right to our own views and opinions which could be completely different from that of others.

We are all created equally by the Almighty in terms of our biology and physiology. But we don't grow up identically. We undergo experiences which are unique to ourselves. The place where we grow up and the way we are brought up by our parents will influence our attitude and our thinking process. Our education will be different and the society we live will also be different.

We have to believe that after all we live in a society where there are also others who are unique in their own way. We should also believe that we need the help and goodwill of others to realise our goals. In fact the higher our goals the more people we need to support and cooperate with us. In this context inter personal relationship assumes a very great importance.

We need to be fearless in expressing our views and while communicating with others. We have to dissent with others who may express a view point which may not be what we believe.

However, we should know how to be fearless and how to be assertive. It's like driving an automobile. We should not only know how to drive, but also how to drive in the right way so that we not only have our way but also allow others their right of way!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

7th October 2010

Everything that irritates us about others can lead us to an understanding of ourselves.

Carl Jung

In life or career, the higher up you rise, you will have to deal with more of people issues than with technical issues. We have to be more mature and understand people better as we go up in our career. A tree which has withstood mare storms is the strongest tree it becomes more valuable to the society. So is a man who goes through more problems in life.

There are a lot of colleges and educational institutions to teach technical subjects. But there is only one university in the entire world to teach people management skills. It is the biggest of any university you have known and it is the oldest university known to mankind. There is no fee or admission test to enter this university. There is no convocation or degree conferred for passing examinations in this university. The number of professors and teachers in this university is infinity and no other university in the world has such a diverse set of teachers. There is no classrooms in this university and no blackboard. No attendance and no written exam in this university. This university has the maximum number of students enrolled every year. In fact you become a student the day you are born and continue as a student till the last day of your life.

You have correctly guessed, it is the University called `Life'!

Everyday we live in this world is an experience and every irritation and problem we face teach us and makes us mature. When someone irritates you and gives you a problem, by all means get angry. But at the end of the day, list at least one thing you learnt about yourself from the experience.

Get into the habit of writing a journal or diary ever day and document all your daily learning. You will be surprised about your own understanding about yourself.

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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