[Time-Management] Mind, O My Dear Mind!

 

16th February 2012

I do not know if you have downloaded the Perceptual Position – Time Line Matrix from my website. If you have not done, please do so. This will help you to understand what I am going to present in the next few pages.

Figure one represents a well balanced person. If you notice the nine boxes, they are of equal size. Such a person will be able to evaluate his decisions from the time line perspective as well as from the perceptual position perspective.

I will suggest a simple exercise. On the floor draw the matrix given in fig 1. Let the matrix be large enough to accommodate a chair or a stool on which you can sit. Think for a few minutes and jot down an important decision you want to take. For example, `I want to quit my job and start my own business'.

Place the chair in box 1 and look at the decision from your own point of view as it relates to today. Forget about the past and the future and all others. Then place the chair in box 2 and look at the same decision and relate the same with your past experience and how the same will influence a person who is closely associated with you, such as your spouse. Then place the chair in box 3 and relate your decision as to how similar decisions in the past would have appealed to an independent person who is not emotionally connected with your decision. You can even go and consult such a person.

Similarly do it with reference to all the nine boxes. Every time you sit in a box, make it a point to connect with the decision you are likely to take and sincerely think. do jot down the feelings you get.

Stop reading and do this exercise!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Mind, O My Dear Mind!

 

15th February 2012

You need to have a paper and pencil to do understand the Perceptual Position and Time Line Matrix.

Draw a vertical rectangle and divide the same into nine equal parts by drawing two vertical and three horizontal lines. Mark the vertical side as `Time Line' and the horizontal side as `Perceptual Position'. In the vertical side mark `Past', `Present' and `Future' on the first second and the third boxes one below the other. On the horizontal side on the top of the rectangle, mark `Self', `Other' and `Observer' on the three boxes on the top.

You will have nine compartments in the matrix. The following will be orientation of the nine compartments:

Box1: Past / Self

Box2: Past / Other

Box3: Past / Observer

Box4: Present / Self

Box5: Present / Other

Box6: Present / Observer

Box7: Future / Self

Box8: Future / Other

Box9: Future / Observer

I could understand you are confused! Let me place me in `other' position and think! Please click on my website given below and go to `Perceptual Position and Time Line Matrix' and download the same. Take a print out. You will have Fig 1, 2, 3 and 4.

I will explain what these diagrams means and how they influence your thinking pattern and behaviour.

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Mind, O My Dear Mind!

 

14th February 2012

Have you ever come across the following types of persons in your life?

  • He looks at the world from his own point of view, enjoys every moment, never plans for the future, forgets lessons learnt from past experience;
  • He looks at every situation from someone's point of view, even though harmful to his interest, sacrificing his and his family  future interest;
  • He only talks about what happened to him in the past, refuses to plan for the future, will not forgive any wrong thing done to him by others;
  • He plans and plans and plans for the future, but does nothing to today!

When you come across such people, you may not like what they speak, and if try to correct them, they will go back to their original version unmindful of whatever you say.

You have to understand that it is their internal programme. Just like a circuit board in an electronic gadget, they are driven by their internal programme. Just as you cannot make the gadget to act in any other way as long as this circuit board is there, so you cannot change these people as long as you don't change this internal orientation.

I want you to understand how the time line and perceptual position trigger your various external behaviours and thinking process.

However, you have to wait for a day!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimfoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Mind, O My Dear Mind!

 

13th February 2012

We need to check if what we think, say or do is impartial. But the question is how do we verify our actions? Sometime back I came across the Four- Way Test of the Rotary International given below:

The Four Way Test of the things we think, say or do:

  1. Is it the truth?
  2. Is it fair to all concerned?
  3. Will it build goodwill and better friendship?
  4. Will it be beneficial to all concerned?

In the various examples I have been giving, the ambulance driver who was using the hooter alarm at midnight, the taxi driver who was adamant to listen to his music etc, if they had asked the above questions, I am sure they would have changed their behaviour. In my seminars on self development, I mention that any change which is enforced from outside will be very short lived and resisted since it amounts to manipulation.  

Here's an exercise for this weekend: take any one decision that you took with reference to another or any action that you initiated which was controversial and commented upon; then you filter your decision or behaviour through the above questions and revaluate if you would take the same decision or act in the same way now. This is how to use the concept of perceptual position in your everyday life.

In the next few newsletters, I am going to combine the time line concept and perceptual position concept and confuse you! Get ready…

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Buy a Book, Help a Child!

 

Buy a Book, Help a Child!

`Vaname Ellai' is a registered trust with exemption under Sec 80G of the Income Tax Act.

`Vaname Ellai' is into school and student related social work which includes running a Tamil Monthly magazine, free training programmes and mentoring to students, parents and teachers.

The entire proceeds of our books `IGNITE', `Arise, Awake, Take Charge' and `100 Exciting Ways to Live' is donated to Vaname Ellai to fund the various activities of the trust.

Every book purchased will light the life of some child somewhere.

For details contact:
timeline@vsnl.com; vanameellai@gmail.com; mindline@sify.com

Mobile: +91 9282159733; +91 9791678022


Thanks
N C Sridharan
 

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[Time-Management] Lets Guide Our Students!

 

Dear readers,

The recent news of a school boy murdering his class teacher would have shocked all of us. While we will not support what the boy did, I am sure you will agree with me that we should also look beyond the behaviour of the boy and look at the social context in which our children are brought up today.

If you are able to read this, you should thank your teacher who taught you to read. Let us spend a minute over this weekend to offer prayer to the teacher who died and pray the Almighty to guide our children and youth so that such things do not happen.

Let us spend one day every month in some school to guide our children on moral and ethical values.

I am sure you are aware that I spend a major portion of my time to mentor students and educate parents how to bring up their children with values and discipline. I offer this service to any school or parent free of cost as part of my personal social responsibility.

I also donate the entire proceeds of all my books to the charitable trust `Vaname Ellai' which is into school based educational and mentoring service.

Today's children need proper guidance and healthy parenting. If this is not done, students have lot of scope to lose their focus in life.

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Mind, O My Dear Mind!

 

10th February 2012

Most of the issues we have been discussing in these pages are simple common sense principles. If you read these pages again in your leisure time, you will be able to understand how relevant are these to improve the quality of our external actions, if we apply the same in our day to day life. Sometimes we behave in a way which may irritate others. We may not mean to irritate them, but we will be doing so unconsciously. Sometimes we may be indulging in a deviant behaviour, which we may not be aware, but others will notice.

It is around 3 am in the morning when I am typing this page in my house which is situated on a highway. I heard an ambulance passing through my house and the driver was using the emergency alarm hooter at its full volume. When I looked outside, I noticed the road completely empty and there is hardly any reason for the ambulance driver to use the hooter given the nil traffic on the road. He was causing such a noise pollution.

May be he is using the hooter from the `self' position of having to do something just because he likes doing it. If he places himself in an impartial position and reevaluates his behaviour, he will modify his behaviour by himself. If he does not do this self evaluation, but advised to change his behaviour, he will experience a stress and resistance.

May be it is a good idea to check impartially if you have done something which is out of place.

Is there a checklist to verify if we take the `observer' view point? Yes, there is. Keep reading…

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Mind, O My Dear Mind!

 

9th February 2012

After my yesterday's mail, there has been a lot of feedback on the behaviour of the driver. Many feel that what the driver did was in the interest of the safety of the passengers.

The main point is not whether the driver should listen to the music of his choice or the music album given by the customers. The issue is on the quality of customer service, which is very important in the context of tough business competition.

In my previous mail, I had said that I will share with you another incident connected with the same context. Sometime back I attended a seminar on Customer Delight, a subject which was oft discussed some ten years ago. A consultant presented a slide show of what all he noticed in a taxi which he used in Bombay (now Mumbai airport). I give below the same:

  • Railway and airlines time table;
  • Newspaper;
  • Thoughts book;
  • Note pad and pen;
  • Loose change which the passenger can exchange for his currency;
  • Postage stamps and envelops for the passenger to use.

In fact, there was a music player in the taxi and the control for the same was near the passenger's seat so that he can stop it if he does not want to hear the same. He said that he was very pleased with the experience and even today he recalls the taxi driver as his role model.

The main issue is: are we empathetic to the feelings and emotions of others and are we connecting with them emotionally.

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Mind, O My Dear Mind!

 

8th February 2012

The willingness to take the point of view of the other person is an important human value. In fact it is the most critical trait to maintain a healthy inter personal relationship. We live in  a society where we need to develop a mutually supportive and respectful relationship. We alone should succeed, but we cannot succeed alone!

I recall a personal experience I had several years ago when I hired a taxi to travel from Bangalore to Mysore in India. The company which runs the taxi service is a very reputed company. They took their utmost care to send me a very good car. I chose the best travel plan so that my daughter, who was at that time ten years, could thoroughly enjoy the trip. The driver was neatly dressed and everything was just the way we wanted.

But the trouble started the moment entered the highway. The driver started playing some cinema songs and he seemed to enjoy the same. After a while we requested him to stop the same and gave him a CD in which our daughter had some songs of her choice. But the driver `very politely' refused to play our album! We requested him several times, the more we asked the more stubborn be became.

The only reason he told was: `I will feel sleepy if I don't listen to these songs!'.

I am sure you will guess what a wonderful holiday we would have had!

The reason for this behaviour of the driver? Lack of appreciation of the `other' point of view!

I narrated this incidence in one of my seminars. One participant gave another very interesting incident.

Keep reading….

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Mind, O My Dear Mind!

 

7th February 2012

Is there a relationship between being effective in a role and perceptual position? In my experience as a head of personnel and human resources, I have come across instances when some people highly effective in one role, but becomes a miserable failure in another job. The company realises that the person becomes a `misfit' all of a sudden. After my deep exposure into NLP, I was able to establish a link between the internal programming and job effectiveness.

Let us take the job requirement of the following positions:

  1. Research and development engineer;
  2. Marketing executive;
  3. Production supervisor;
  4. A Chef in a restaurant;
  5. A teacher in a school;
  6. An anesthetist helping a surgeon in an operation theater;
  7. A Judge hearing a case in a court hall.

Should an R&D engineer be looking at his proposed model from `self' perspective or from the `other' perspective of the marketing department or the customer?  If a Judge does not take the `observer' position and listens impartially to both the parties, what will be the quality of his judgment? Should not a Chef look at his pudding from the point of view of the person who is going to eat it? If a teacher in a school teaches from the `self' position without trying to evaluate his teaching ability from the point of view of the student?

Ponder over this issue and think if there could be a strong relationship between their internal wiring and the demands in their job! In the next issue I am going to give an interesting experience I had with a tourist cab driver…

Getting curious? Wait till tomorrow…

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Mind, O My Dear Mind!

 

6th February 2012

The concept of `attached' and `detached' positions is very important when we talk about an experience. We are human beings and emotions play a very important in our relationship management. Sometimes we wonder why a person responds in a particular way. I am sure you've come across people who are so emotionless that they show no concern at all to others' feelings. There are also others who are very attached and show lot of concern to others' problems. This is a very important aspect of a person's personality.

Let me give an interesting anecdote.

There were two brothers. The elder brother is mentally challenged. The younger brother is fine, but cannot read and write. A postman brings a telegram to their apartment. Since the younger brother cannot read, he asks the postman to read the contents of the telegram. The postman reads `father passed away, start immediately'. The postman reads the content without any emotions; the elder brother takes the telegram and reads the contents several times and breaks into a funny and  meaningless laughter; the younger brother hears the message and cries uncontrollably!

The postman is not emotionally connected with the content; the elder brother cannot connect emotionally; the younger brother is deeply connected emotionally! This makes the three of them to respond to the same situation in their own unique way!

I am going to discuss how the perceptual position is relevant in a job and career situation.

Keep reading…

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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