18th January 2011
`Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved'
Helen Keller
It is not our external behaviour that shapes our destiny. It's our character. Character is like a software which runs a programme called our external behaviour. It is easy to change our behaviour through temporary rewards and punishment. This is manipulation and such a changed behaviour will not last long and we will soon go back to our natural behaviour.
We need certain traits and qualities in our life to sustain our effort level. It is not that always we will be encouraged by others. There may occasions when we will be criticized and discouraged. We need to develop an ability to take all such criticism as normal feedback and choose our own course of action depending on our judgment.
Our character determines this mindset.
In my Life Skills Seminars, I am fond of telling a story. There was an old donkey in a village which was not able to be of any use to its owner. One day the donkey fell into a dried up well. The owner wanted to cover it up by putting all rubbish into the well. Every time some rubbish was put, the donkey will shrug off and step on the rubbish. The villagers also shoveled and dumped all rubbish on the donkey and the donkey shrugged off by shaking off. Slowly the donkey started coming up to the edge of the well and ultimately came out!
Moral of the story: Life will shovel dirt on you. The trick is to shake it off and never give up what you have undertaken to achieve. Take one step at a time.
Sometimes we should behave like this donkey. We should ignore the negative criticisms that are showered on us and pursue our course of action, if we are definite in our mind about our project.
Reflect on one negative criticism that you received last week and recall how you responded and what was the result.
N C Sridharan
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