4th November 2010
Flatter me, and I may not believe you.
Criticize me, and I may not like you.
Ignore me, and I may not forgive you.
Encourage me, and I will not forget you.
William Arthur Ward
If you read carefully, you will notice that there are four strategies discussed in this quotation. Out of these three strategies will not build up good relationship. They are flattery, criticism and ignoring people. The fourth strategy will build healthy relationship and that is encouraging someone.
Next time when someone praises you, notice if it is honest praise or flattery. The dictionary meaning of the word `flattery' is excessive or insincere praise. If someone flatters you, you may feel happy for the time being. But if think for a while, you will understand that flattery will give you a false belief as though it is true.
Similarly criticism has to be understood in the proper sense of the word. Criticism means expression of disapproval. I'm not saying that you should not criticise someone. But just think how you will feel if someone criticises you without your liking!
The third is ignoring someone. Have you ever felt ignored by someone you value most? How will you feel if someone ignores your feelings? How will you feel if someone whom you value most does not return your call?
The fourth trait discussed in the above quotation is encouraging someone. I'm sure you will feel happy when someone encourages you when you do something good. Encouragement is a powerful relationship builder.
Over this weekend think:
· Did you knowingly or unknowingly flatter someone?
· Did you give unwanted criticism to someone?
· Did you ignore someone who values your relationship most?
· Did you encourage someone for whatever that person did?
N C Sridharan
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