[Time-Management] 100 Thoughts for Self Improvement!

 

3rd September 2012

In the End, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends.
Martin Luther King, Jr.

How many friends you have? Out of that how many have the closeness and freedom to criticize your actions and decisions? How vociferous will they be to voice their dissent? How confident will they be that you will respect their dissent? How patient and calm will you be to listen to their criticism?

Ask yourself the above questions and frankly answer. If you are surrounded by `yes men', you are likely to commit mistakes. A true friend is one you is really concerned about you irrespective of whether you like his criticism or not. He values your welfare more than your friendship.

Your enemies will also criticize you and you will notice their criticism. In fact the quality of your listening will be better when you listen to your enemies' criticisms! You will not notice the silence of your friends and you will take them for granted!

There is an old saying that a friend will make you happy, but an enemy will make you cry. Sometimes we learn more when we cry than when we laugh!

Check this out: during the last one month, how many friends criticized you? If you have not received any criticism, you have to be concerned and not happy!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] 100 Thoughts for Self Improvement!

 

31st August 2012

Silence is better than unmeaning words.
Pythagoras

Mahatma Gandhi used to observe complete silence one day every week. I wanted to experience the same. I started observing fasting and complete silence for one complete day every month. I started doing this to boost up my own self confidence since I have two major weaknesses – eating and talking!

I realised that most of my time was wasted in unnecessary talking which added no value to me and to others! I thought that I was very careful with respect to how I spend my time, but this experience proved how ignorant I was!

You may not know, but you can substantially increase your productivity by self discipline. You don't have to be highly intelligent to succeed in life. But you have to be highly disciplined. With ordinary intelligence and high discipline you can achieve much more in life than a person with very high intelligence with low discipline!

How we use our five sense organs will decide the scale of our success. I realised that if by controlling just one of the five senses I could achieve such a boost in my personal productivity, how much more I can achieve I intelligently using the other senses also!

Why don't you also go through this experience and realise the power of self discipline!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] 100 Thoughts for Self Improvement!

 

30th August 2012

The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn't said.
Peter Drucker

When we communicate with people we should be sensitive to the feelings of others and conscious on how they will take the content of our communication. For example, some days ago I wrote a piece on unwanted advices and suggestions and I quoted Austin O'Malley's `Some men, like a wet dog, sprinkle a shower of advice over you when you are least prepared for a bath!'

For example, one day I shared that quotation with my mother and left for my school.

Around noon I realised my mistake: the previous day evening my mother was advising me on an important issue and we were arguing on that! It suddenly occurred to me that unknowingly I might have wounded her sentiments. I rushed home and my mother appeared to be upset and asked why I gave that quote.

I sat with her for nearly one hour to explain the context in which I shared the quote with her and convinced her I did not mean that she was giving me unnecessary advice. I took some time to communicate my positive intention, and I felt relieved after that!

I realised that my enthusiasm to share good thoughts with others should not blind me to the sentiments of people – knowingly or unknowingly!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] 100 Thoughts for Self Improvement!

 

29th August 2012

`It is not work that kills men, it is worry. Work is healthy; you can hardly put more on a man than he can bear. But worry is like rust upon the blade. It is not movement that destroys the machinery, but the friction'

Henry Ward Beecher

Have you come across people who are very happy? I have. I admire some of my friends who are personification of happiness. Their happiness is contagious! They laugh, crack jokes, share some of their happy memories with you and make you feel at home.

I have also come across people who are always worried. They have something to feel worried. If they have nothing to feel worried, they are not comfortable! I am sure you also know such people. They cannot stand even a slight deviation from their comfort zone. They want things to happen their way.

One thing is for sure: you don't improve the situation by worrying. If at all, things only deteriorate. Worry saps your energy and enthusiasm. It kills your self- image and self confidence.

I have a friend of mine who is a very senior IAS officer. I have never seen him tense, even during crisis times. One day I asked him how he is able to maintain this state of mind. He said that when faced with difficult situations, he will ask three critical questions to himself:

  • What's the worst that can happen?
  • What if?
  • What next?

I tried asking these questions when in difficulties and it worked. What about you?

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] 100 Thoughts for Self Improvement!

 

28th August 2012

Clarity affords focus. 
Thomas Leonard 

Recently I concluded a one day programme on how to enhance the productivity of our time. Most of our confusion with regard to our time is due to lack of clarity on three P's: Purpose, Process and Priority.

If we have money, we decide for what purpose and how we want to use the same. We don't buy anything and everything we see. We have our own priority for money and its usage. We process our spending in such a way that there is return on investment.

We need to develop this mindset with reference to time also. If we have one hour of time, we need to be clear about:

  • For what purpose I want to use this one hour?
  • If I am doing something in this one hour of time, am I doing it effectively or is there any other way of doing the same?
  • Should I do this activity in this one hour of time, or can I usefully `invest' this time on some other more productive activity? Is this activity my priority?

One common denominator among successful people is that they are clear about these three P's! How about you?

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] 100 Thoughts for Self Improvement!

 

27th August 2012

`Habit is either the best of servants or the worst of masters'

Nathaniel Emmons

We are what our habits and traits make us. We have good and bad habits. Good habits improve the quality of our life and bad habits destroy us. Most of us aware of how our bad habits affect us, but we may not know how to get out of the same.

We are not only human beings, but also `thinking beings'. We can use our faculty of thinking and logical reasoning to come out of our bad habits.

Here's an exercise.

List ten bad habits you have from which you find it very difficult to come out. For example: I am lazy; I over eat; I over sleep; I don't think before I speak; I drive rashly; I procrastinate etc.

Against each bad habit write down a sentence how the same has affected you or how well you would have progressed in life if you had conquered this habit in time! Trust your intelligent mind. You mind is your true and sincere servant. It will certainly help you with ideas how to fight this bad habit.

Take one bad habit per week and do this exercise and watch your progress!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] 100 Thoughts for Self Improvement!

 

24th August 2012

`A man's growth is seen in the successive choirs of his friends'. 
Ralph Waldo Emerson 

Do an exercise. List all your friends and check how many of them are intellectually rewarding friends! Surprised about this phrase? I am sure you will agree that we need to have friends who can think intelligently. You may have several types of friends – financially rewarding, emotionally rewarding, entertainment wise rewarding etc.

Financially rewarding friends may help you when you need money; when you are emotionally challenged, you may need friends who can offer emotional support; if you love sports or other types of entertainment, certainly you may approach such friends who share your passion.

But when you have a challenging assignment or when you go through difficulties you need the help of friends you can think for you intelligently. In fact even to grow and prosper you need intellectual support.

I have a friend of mine who has small coterie of friends from various specializations such as lawyers, doctors, administrators, management consultants etc. He will meet them once a month in an informal way to tap from their expertise. He will also offer what he can to them intellectually.

Knowledge is of two kinds: you may have it, or you may know where you can find. Your intellectually rewarding friends will supplement your knowledge!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] 100 Thoughts for Self Improvement!

 

23rd August 2012

Don't be limited by the expectations of others. You can always be better and do more.
Bruce Oldfield

Ordinary organisations grow when they delight their customers with their products and services. When customers are delighted, they become loyal customers.

Even as individuals we have some product or services to offer to others. We may be teachers, doctors, artists, lawyers etc. Or you may be street vendor selling fruits or flowers. You need to ask a very pointed question after you have serviced a customer:

  • Have I fully met his expectations? Or have I given him what I have?

You may have given him what you have and it may also be your best. But as long as you have not totally satisfied his expectations, he will not be delighted.

I was observing a very leading playback singer whose call sheet is very difficult to get and the normal waiting period for any cine producer is one year. When he was recording for a three minute song, the music director made him to sing a line for nearly fifteen times before the take was finally approved and the playback singer sang all the fifteen times without in anyway getting irritated. At the end of the day he told me that he would have repeated the line even hundred times if the music director wanted!

No wonder he is much wanted!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] 100 Thoughts for Self Improvement!

 

22nd August 2012

`Hold yourself responsible for a higher standard than anyone else expects of you. Never excuse yourself'

Henry Ward Beeacher

Some years ago I had the opportunity to meet P.T. Usha, who won an Olympic Medal for India. I took her to my school and allowed my students to interact with her. Many students asked her what is the secret behind her success and who motivated her. Her reply was very interesting. She said that every time she participated in any competition, she would want to beat her own previous record while at the same time remembering the world record!

We need external motivation. But what is even more important is an inner urge and restlessness to be our best and deliver our best. We have to be internally compelled to excel in whatever we do. This emotional state alone will give us the stamina and power to sustain and maintain our energy level.

Others may not notice the gap between what we can deliver and what we actually deliver, but we know the same!

Before going to bed, it will be a good idea to ask ourselves a critical question: did I do my best in whatever I did today? Did I live up to the entire satisfaction of my own self? If I were to rate my own performance, how will I rate myself?

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] 100 Thoughts for Self Improvement!

 

21st August 2012

`Some men, like a wet dog, sprinkle a shower of advice over you when you are least prepared for a bath!

Austin O'Malley

Have you ever asked yourself one question about yourself: when I speak to people, how far do they enjoy the same? May be I am asking you to ask a sensitive question about one of your traits which you may not have known!

Very often we are in conversation with others. At the end of it, they should have enjoyed the same and look forward to the next occasion when you will speak to them again.

You may not know, others may avoid you if the following are present in your conversation:

  • `Advice giving'
  • Unwanted criticism
  • Unsolicited correcting.
  • Offering suggestions which they may not need?
  • Speaking about yourself which they may not want to hear?
  • Not allowing them to them to speak and the quality of your listening?

These are even more important when you are on telephone conversation when you will have no clue on the body language or facial expression of the listener! The other person may not like to wound your feelings by sharing the above with you.

One way to avoid the above is to become conscious about these small aspects which will make a big difference on your image!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] 100 Thoughts for Self Improvement!

 

20th August 2012

`Many only learns in two ways, one by reading, and the other by association with smarter people'

Will Rogers

How often you meet people and for what purpose? In your life you have lot of walking legends, small or big. Each one of them will have some message and lesson to tell you. I run a Tamil monthly magazine and I make it a point to interview successful people and carry the same in my magazine. I don't know if my readers are benefited from such interviews, but I benefit a lot!

Move with people who have achieved something in life. They may not be accessible to you. But still try to meet them. Don't miss to watch interviews of great people on the television.

Move with smart people who have handled tough situations and problems in life. Learn from them on how they faced failures and bounced back. There are a lot of rags to riches stories and learn from such people. If you have been failing in your field, browse the website to know about people who have achieved in the same field and how they did the same.  

When you go to any social gatherings, make it a point to meet as many people as possible and talk to them on how they are doing what they are doing. You may learn a lot from them!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] 100 Thoughts for Self Improvement!

 

17th August 2012

Nothing in life is to be feared. It is only to be understood.

Marie Curie

My cousin has come back to India from United States after over 10 years. We live in Chennai and he has to drive his car. For the past few days he is driving a car and he says he is not afraid of the traffic, but tries to understand the same given our traffic and driving discipline.

The other day I was in my friend's farm house where they sighted a long cobra. My friend telephoned a snake charmer who promptly came and took away the snake without any hassle! I watched him handling the snake and he was calm and composed and was even talking to us as he was catching the tail of the snake and led the same into a gunny bag he brought with him!

I had a chance to chat with a school final student who stood State first. I asked him how he will answer a tough question and if he will be afraid of the same. He said that he will read the question several times to understand the same and the question will become very easy!

This weekend, identify one problem you are afraid to face; break the same into small parts and understand the same. Then notice if the problem is still difficult!

N C Sridharan

www.thetimeofoundation.com

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