[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

1st February 2010

 

Remembering People Who Helped Us

 

The heart is happiest when it beats for others.
Unknown

 

A very important quality to be developed in us is remembering people who have helped us in some way or other. We have been succeeding in life not with our own effort alone, but also with the help of others. We have been receiving help from others not only during a crisis, but also at normal times. Just imagine what you would be if you had not received the help of others at various points of time in your life.

 

Normally, we remember people who have not helped us longer than we remember people who have helped us. If we approach a person for a help and  he declines we remember for ever we remember that he did not help! But over a period of time we forget the people who helped us.

 

It is a nice idea to list all the people who have helped us by name and what type of help they have rendered. This weak end, you make such a list. Scan your life for the past five years and try to recall all such people. Let the help be small or big. It could even be a person who lent you his pen in the post office or who gave you his seat in a public transport. After making the list, realize how you feel. Also consider if you have returned the help adequately.

 

The beauty in human relationship is that what is noticed is remembered and what is remembered and nurtured grows. If you remember those who helped you, the feelings of gratitude and fellowship grows. We don't even have to reciprocate the help of others. At least we can acknowledge such help. This simple act of acknowledgement will be a good encouragement for those who have the ability and resources to help. Only when encouraged, such ability to help will transform into willingness to help.

 

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

29th January 2010

 

The Cost of Repairing is More Than the Cost of Making!

 

A work ill done must be done twice.

Chinese proverb

 

When it comes to undoing what has already been done already we have to pay a price. The cost of rectifying a mistake will be much more than the cost of originally making it. If you give a pant or shirt to make alterations, you will realize this! Similarly, a poorly performed surgical operation will result in much more effort and money to rectify the same, besides causing intense pain and suffering.

 

This principle is applicable to any human endeavor. Whatever task we perform, we should do it right. One of the principles of Total Quality Management (TQM) is `to do it right the first time and every time'. This means that we should have an appropriate process for doing any activity so that mistakes are avoided. Before doing any activity the following checklist will be useful:

  • Am I the right person to do it?
  • Do I have the adequate knowledge and skill to do the job right?
  • Do I know the appropriate process for doing it without mistake?
  • Do I have the right people to do it right?
  • If I were to delegate the job to someone, will he meet the above requirements?
  • Do I have all the resources to do it right?

 

When things go wrong, we go through much more tension and stress than the enjoyment we go through when we do a thing right. A thing wrongly executed also causes tension and problems to others. Sometimes, it may also affect our self esteem and self confidence. When we frequently do a thing wrongly and rectify  it ,  our  image and credibility will also suffer.

 

So, do it right the first time and every time!

 

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

28th January 2010

 

Send praise to one person every day!

 

Positive attitudes create a chain reaction of positive thoughts.
--Unknown

 

Everyone wants positive strokes. We want to be appreciated and praised. We feel happy and encouraged when someone has something  good to say  about us. It is simple human psychology. However, we don't to do frequently. We are more sensitive to mistakes and problems. When someone makes a mistake, we are very prompt in noticing the same. We are not that prompt in noticing good work. Even if we notice,  we don't pass on our appreciation.

 

Try praising someone and notice how happy the person feels. There can be no better motivator than simple words of praise. The person need not do something extraordinary to be praised. There are a lot of things you can notice in a person deserving praise. It could be as simple as handwriting or the dress. It could a good habit a person has such as neatness. Or it could the constant smile a person wears on his face.

 

You need to have a taste to notice good things in others. You also need the mind to accept and appreciate good things in others. If you don't have this quality, you may not notice anything good in anyone. The interesting thing about this is the fact that the more you start noticing good things in people, the more will come to your conscious attention. Over a period of time, this will become your second nature.

 

While doing this, you need to be careful that you don't do it as a  ritual. You need to sincerely feel like appreciating and praising a person so that the feeling is reflected in your words and body language as you praise that person. Others can easily find out if you really mean what you say. If this perspective is missing, your praise will appear very artificial and manipulative.

 

This week end do a small exercise. List all the persons you come across and interact on a daily basis and write down one quality that you like in that person against his or her name. Then send a note or make a call praising that person as part of your daily interaction. When  you a give a gift to a person on occasions such as birthday or wedding day, write one good quality you like in that person along with the gift.

 

Try this on a daily basis and you will notice how many good people you have around you

 

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

27th January 2010

 

Be Careful While Giving Negative Feedback

 

 

Opinion has caused more trouble on this little earth than plagues or earthquakes.

 

-Voltaire

 

We may be honestly interested in a person and we are really concerned about the way that person is doing things. We may know something about that person which he himself may not know. Or there could be a criticism that others pass about this person which he may not be aware of. This gives us the right context to give this feedback to that person. Such feedbacks are very important for that person and it is our duty to do so.

 

But, we need to be cautious while giving negative feedback. Normally people are happy when something good is said about them and they may not be that receptive to  the not so good feedback. It is human nature. We need to keep the following points in mind while giving negative feedback about a person:

 

  • Is it true or is it our opinion?
  • Is that person in a frame of mind to receive the feedback?
  • Is it the right time and context to give the feedback? Can it be given later?
  • The way the negative feedback is given, the words used, and the `soft' aspects of communication.
  • The frequency of the negative feedback. Not too often.
  • Give the negative feedback in private and not in public.
  • Are you close enough to that person to give that feedback? What is the quality of your rapport with him?
  • In what context the feedback  useful to him? Is he aware of it?

 

In our anxiety we may not give importance to the above issues while giving the negative feedback since we are sincerely interested in that person. If the above issues are overlooked, we may not achieve the purpose which we had in mind for giving the feedback.

 

Do a small exercise this week end: list the number of occasions in the last one month when you gave a negative feedback about a person and how he received the same. If he did not receive the same in the right spirit, was it due to any of the factors discussed above?

 

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

26th January 2010

 

Do You Listen to Others' Advice?

Some people grin and bear it; others smile and do it.
--Unknown

 

We are intelligent enough to take our own decisions in matters concerning our welfare. We have been succeeding by and large. At the same time there could have been occasions when we failed or did not succeed the way we wanted to. Whenever we succeed or lose, we will notice that the failure or success depends on the quality of decisions we take. Decision making is a very important factor that decides our actions and the probability of success.

 

It is not likely that we have all the facts and experience to take a qualitative decision. We need the help of others. The input from others in crucial matters counts a lot. We need to be surrounded by people who are sincerely interested in our welfare. In fact, we are surrounded by such people. The question is whether we are interested in listening to their good advice. The interesting thing about people is that they will be more inclined to advice us if we are inclined to listen to them.

 

Normally we will be inclined to listen to such people who agree with what we decide and not so happy with people who disagree with our point of view. Whenever people give us another point of view, we are likely to reject them if we do not like what they say. Others will be sensitive enough to understand if their views are respected. Over a period of time, they will stop giving us any advice, since they also care for their self respect.

 

This weak end, do a small exercise. List all the failures and set backs that you have had in your life during the last one year. List also the views of dissent that you received on such occasions from others. Consider what would have been your decision on such occasions if only you had listened to such voice of dissent In short, audit your style of how you receive others' point of view, especially when they do not agree with you. This analysis will throw some light on the quality of your listening to dissenting view points.

 

In short, audit your style of how you receive others' point of view, especially when they do not agree with you.

 

Do this simple exercise and you will discover how many more opportunities wait for you with your new mindset!

 

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

25th January 2010

 

Is There a Thing Called `Fate'?

Men are not prisoners of fate, but only prisoners of their own minds.

Franklin D.Roosevelt, , Pan American Day address, April 15, 1939
32nd president of US (1882 - 1945)

 

We hear people say that they are not lucky and it is their destiny to suffer etc. They also say the same thing with respect to others. They say that others are lucky to have got what they have  got in life! Is there a thing called fate and luck? Is it possible to have a life style directed purely by human effort not at all affected by luck or fortune?

 

Perhaps many of  us misunderstand the inter play between luck and effort. It is true that some times in spite of our hard and dedicated efforts, we do not get the desired result. It is also true that somebody  gets a result which is far disproportionate to their effort level. It may also happen to us. When such things happen we call it luck, and we may also be right from this point of view.

 

Just think if the following statements could be true?

  • It is lucky to be born in a particular family or environment. The converse is also true: it is unlucky to be born in a poor environment.
  • It is lucky to be present at a particular context of time. For example to be present at a place when the industry is booming and we have the relevant skill. Contrast this with the situation when we are having the requisite skill, but there is no scope for using the same.
  • It is lucky that our efforts are supplemented by favourable external factors so that the rewards are enhanced.
  • It is unlucky when some external situation affects our result even though we have done our best. For example, we are struck by tsunami or floods which are totally outside our control. Or tsunami strikes at a time we are not there!

 

You will agree with me that such instances are exceptions and they do not occur every day. When we talk about luck or fate, we only talk about these exceptions.

 

I want you to think about this dimension of luck and fate. Once you have thought about it, consider this statement: the probability of success is more through efforts than through luck or fate!

 

Perhaps there is some truth in this statement.

 

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

22nd January 2010

 

Dream the Impossible…

 

Sometimes I've believed as many as six impossible things before breakfast.

Lewis Carroll, Alice in Wonderland

We have unlimited capabilities and there are  unlimited opportunities. The world outside is so very  exciting. The opportunity that is available to day has never existed in the past. There is so much of demand for any product or service to day. More and more skills are required to satisfy the ever increasing demand for more and more products and services.

 

We are living at the right place and right time. It is up to us to use it or lose it. So, dream the impossible and make it possible! If you read the life history of any successful person, the one common denominator you will see is their burning desire to dream impossible dreams. Take any inventor, any freedom fighter, and any industrialist. When such people said what they wanted to achieve, they were dubbed as insane or foolish. This is the struggle Galileo felt when he said that the earth is round, or when Graham Bell said that he could help mankind to speak through wire. The same was the case when Mahatma Gandhi said that he could win freedom for India through non violent means.

 

All dreams are not unrealistic. In fact, dreams are the language of our right brain which is the creative brain. Our creative brain communicates with us what it wants us to do. Initially, our goals will be merely a `wild thought' or a desire. Once we give a serious thought to such desires, they become our goal. Every goal has to pass through four stages before we start acting on them. They are: fantasy, probability, possibility and certainty. Some goals may fade off at the fantasy stage itself. When we take some actions in the direction of our goal, it gets into the probability state. When we increase our effort level, it becomes even more possible to reach our goal. When we are consistent in the quality of our efforts,   it is certain that we will reach goals.

 

This evening, all that you have to do is to take a piece of paper and just write down your `wild dreams'. Dream as wildly as possible. Make a collage of your dreams if you can. Meditate on them. Affirm to yourself that you can make it happen. You will be amazed at your own ability to convert your dream into reality.

 

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

21st January 2010

 

Your Skill Set is Your Treasure Box

 

Whenever a man does the best he can, then that is all he can do.

Harry S Truman

 

You may be working for someone or working for yourself. You may be earning in hundreds, thousands, lakhs or in millions. Your earning may be adequate or there is a gap between what you are earning and what you need to earn. The quality of your life depends on your earning capacity. Your salary is an index of how valuable is your time and what value it produces to others. One of the critical factors in life is the set of skills that you posses.

 

During our lifetime we pick up various skills, from the time we started speaking and walking. We picked up the skill of writing, drawing, computing, jumping, swimming etc. If you really list all the skills that human beings can acquire, the list can be endless. The skills can be basic survival skills to complicated higher order skills. If you do not have a skill at a specific point of time and if that skill is critical, you will suffer.

 

The availability of a skill alone will not decide its value. You need to ask the following questions:

 

  1. Where am I using my skill? Can I use the same skill to produce a  different result at another place?
  2. Who is the beneficiary of my skill? Can it be another person? Can more people benefit from my skill thereby producing more value to more number of people?
  3. What is the `commercial value' of my skill? Can I enhance the same by several times?
  4. How am I using my skill? Can I use the same even more effectively?

 

For example, if you have the skill of singing, ask yourself the above questions and frankly answer the same. Similarly, if you have the skill of playing chess, you can decide to play in the local club or in inter national tournaments. Depending on how and where you play, your earning will be more or less.

 

This weak end, do this exercise and seriously work out a strategy!

 

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

20th January 2010

 

Decide and Take Charge…

 

We have to take charge of our life. We need the help of others, but ultimately we decide the quality of our life. It is our decisions, our thinking pattern, the quality and the content of our mind, our actions and our attitudes and values in life which decide who we are and what we are going to be. It is your fault if you don't succeed in life. I am giving below one poem sent by one of our readers Mr. Dumpala Srinivas:

 

 

If you hate your job and you DECIDE to stay there,
it's your fault.

If someone offers you a better job, but it requires
you to move to another city, it's your fault.

If you DECIDE to save no money during your working
lifetime, winding up broke and embarrassed at age 65,
dependent on charities for survival, it's your fault.

If you DECIDE not to study or read in your chosen
field and find yourself never rising above mere
mediocrity, it's your fault.

If you DECIDE to spend more money than you make,
running yourself into debt by satisfying one
capricious whim after another, it's your fault.

If you DECIDE to waste all your time on meaningless
activities, neglecting all the important things you
could do with your life, it's your fault.

If you DECIDE never to read a self-help book and then
suffer dramatically because you are ignorant of
success principles, it's your fault.

If you DECIDE to smoke three packs of cigarettes a
day, then get lung cancer, it's your fault.

If you DECIDE to spend no time building a loving
relationship with your spouse and your spouse divorces
you, it's your fault.

If your life isn't working out well and you DECIDE to
do nothing about it, it's your fault.

If you DECIDE never to help anyone else in life and
wind up lonely, it's your fault.

If you DECIDE on goals that are completely
self-serving and you have a hard time getting others
to support you, it's your fault.

If you DECIDE never to pray and find that God works no
miracles in your life, it's your fault.

 

A very powerful poem. Isn't it?

 

N C Sridharan

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