13th January 2010
How intense is your friends' circle?
Kindness is a language which the deaf can hear and the blind can read.
--Mark Twain
All of us have friends and we are friends to many others. When it comes to friendship, a very important question is: how intense is the friendship? The real test comes when we are in a crisis and how many will stand by our side. We will have a good amount of support when everything goes on well. The real test comes when things are not normal. How many of your friends will stand by your side when you are in a deep crisis.
When we are in a crisis, we need people to stretch and help. In fact, when we are comfortable, we may not need anyone's help that critically. Only when we are in a crisis, we need others' help. This depends on the following parameters:
- How intense is your friendship with respect to others?
- How many times you have gone to the `rescue' of your friends when they were in difficulties?
- Have you `stretched' yourself in helping your friends when they were in a crisis?
- Are you willing to suffer and sacrifice to pull your friends if they get into a problem?
- Who is the beneficiary of your friendship - you or your friends?
We need to understand that friendship does not mean saying hello to each other, wishing on New Year Day, attending marriages and birthday parties. Friendship means stretching and reaching out our hands and hearts to our friends when they are in difficulties. We remember our friends when some good things happen to them. They also tell us when they pass through happy moments. But do we really bother to sincerely ask people if they have some problems so that we can help them? In fact most of us do not share our problems with others voluntarily.
To day, make it a point to talk to someone who is in real a problem and sincerely ask him how you could be useful to him. Do it with respect to one friend every week. Reach out to them honestly and be a resource person to your friends not when they are happy, but when they most need you. Do this consistently and you will realize what a wonderful world we live in!
N C Sridharan
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