[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

1st November 2010

`The Tyranny of the OR and the Genius of the AND'

I was reading Jim Collins book Built to Last and I picked up the above line from the book. Many of us seem to suffer from a syndrome called `this or that'. For example we think that our children should choose either sports or education. We think that we have to choose between working hard and having a lot of fun. We think that we should pursue our hobby or our profession.

But the genius will find a way of combining both. Take the choice between sports and games. If the children are properly guided, they can be made to manage their time so well that they do well in sports as well as in education. In fact, some of the traits that you develop in sports will be so relevant in education. While you play any sports you not only play the sports, but also develop certain qualities such as perseverance, concentration, a killer instinct, mental and physical stamina etc, which will be very relevant to do well in education also.

Similarly having a lot of fun need not mean that we cannot work hard. In fact when we have fun and relaxation, the right side of our brain is activated and we will be coming out with better and innovative ideas which will make our work easier. Pursuing our hobby can be such a relaxation that when we retune to our work, we will be even more productive. Haven't you heard of Einstein and his violin?

When we get out of the tyranny of the OR and think about the genius of the AND, we will become better managers of our time. We will think more creatively. We will use all our resources even more carefully. We will start working smart and not hard!

Over this weekend, perhaps you can list down all those things you left due to the tyranny of the OR and seriously think how you can pursue it again. For example, you stopped going for the morning walk since you thought you didn't have the time? Can you still go for the walk with your iPod and use that time to listen to your favourite music which you have been missing all these days?

N C Sridharan

www.thetimefoundation.com

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[Time-Management] Ignited Child!

 

1st November 2010

`The pot and the potter'

Think about a caterpillar becoming a butterfly and potter making a pot. In the process of becoming a butterfly, does the caterpillar do anything? Similarly in the process of being made a pot, does the pot do anything? As long as the clay has all the basic ingredients, the potter can make the best of the pot. Similarly as long as the caterpillar is biologically ok, the transformation of the caterpillar into a butterfly is a foregone conclusion. It's all a question of time.

Now take the example of raising a child. Think. Which example will hold good for the child – caterpillar or the pot? Obviously the answer is pot, isn't? The reason is the fact the caterpillar – butterfly transformation is a natural phenomenon. But in the case of the pot, the potter's contribution will make a big difference in the making of a pot. The potter is the parent, and more specifically the mother. The parents play the role of master craftsmen at work. The mastery of the craftsmen will reflect in the exquisiteness of the piece of art.

This example is very appropriate to explain the role of the parent or the quality of parenting. A brilliant child born in a caring parent is very lucky. The knowledge level and how well informed are the parents in the soft skill required for quality parenting is very important. That's why I always believe that the best teacher is the mother and the best school is the home!

The quality of education and learning depends to a very large extent on the role played by the parents. Over the last weekend, I was addressing a group of parents on the fine art of making of a genius. One parent asked me what he should do to help his child to become a genius.

That was a wonderful question, and in fact it is a question in the minds of many parents. Do you want to know the answer?

Keep reading....

N C Sridharan and Radha Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

29th October 2010

"Emphasize everything and you emphasize nothing."

Herschell Gordon Lewis

Without focus nothing can be done. Focus is our ability to apply all our attention on one thing at a time. The quality of focus will decide the quality of our work. The difference between achieving great thing and achieving just ordinary thing is the concentration that we bring into what we have undertaken to do.

At the same time, we should accept that we are living in a world of opportunities and the scope to do achieve is really infinity. The number of products and services is ever increasing as hitherto not seen. The human mind and the human brain collaborate so much that the scope for achievement knows no bounds.

At the same time, we also have to do with the scarcest of all scarce resources – time. The time is limited and will not accommodate everything we want to do. In fact time passes faster than we realise. Time is passing with or without our being aware of it. Within the limited period of time, we have to manage all that we want to do. Many times I used to wonder how some people achieved great things in their life. I also used to wonder how people at very high places manage their time pursuing bigger things in their life. Take the example of the President of United States or the CEO of very large organisations. How do they manage such large responsibilities?

The secret can be summed up in one principle: Do one thing at a time! They have mastered the ability to say `no' to demands on their time which they cannot accept. They know the Pareto principle of vital few and trivial many, which states that 80% of everything we do will only produce 20% percent of results. However an intelligent person will know how to conserve all his time and concentrate all his attention on the vital 20% of the most vital things in life which will make a very big difference.

Over this weekend just think:

·         Do you want to do everything yourself?

·         Do you want to please everybody?

·         Do you want to pursue every idea that crosses your mind?

·         Do you expect everyday to be a perfect day?

If the answer to these questions is `yes', don't!

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

28th October 2010

"One of the greatest gifts you can give to anyone is the gift of attention."

 Jim Rohn

One of the most enviable gifts the human race has the power to communicate. This is not available to the non human beings. We can communicate and hence we can relate with each other. We can connect with each other. We can influence people. We can build rapport. We can build emotional bonds with people.

In order to do all this, we need to understand the quality of our communication. We don't communicate only through words. There are a lot of other factors which affect the quality of our communication. One such factor is the attention we give to others when they interact with us. Next time when you are communicating with others, notice how attentive they are to what you say. Notice their eye contact. Notice how they understand they connect with you. Similarly, check with people who can give frank feedback how you fair on the same parameter.

You can also understand this from a broader perspective. When someone is communicating with you, how do you keep their attention? Are you one of those who believe that to remain attentive is the responsibility of the other person? Next time when you watch a television commercial notice how the message is communicated so that your full attention is on the advertisement. Notice the facial expression of the model. Keep this mind when you communicate. What is the quality of your facial expression?

Become conscious of what all you do when someone is communicating with you, like meddling with the paper weight, sending an sms, telephoning, munching something etc. How will you feel if you were to be the person receiving it? Won't you feel insulted and upset? Won't you expect some basic courtesy and etiquette from the other person when you are talking to him?

With this input read the above quotation again and appreciate the value of the same in building interpersonal relationship!

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Ignited Child!

 

27th October 2010

`Purpose – the fifth factor'

Children are not machines to work without any purpose. They have a strong need to know why they should do the various things are asked to do. They have to be convinced on the `why' aspect than the `what' aspect. They are clear on what they are asked to do, but more often than not, they are not sure how the same will influence their life.

If you read the autobiography of famous people, you will notice that at a fairly early in their life they were clear on what they wanted to become. This is so especially on sports personalities. They were willing to sweat it out in the hot sun and putting in the enormous hours of practice. Many of us may not know what a normal day of an Olympian will look like. We see them only on the television playing a world class match and signing contracts worth hundreds and thousands of money. Behind all these are their years of painful hard work.

What distinguishes a child from an adult is the clarity of focus. An adult is likely to know why he is doing what he is doing. But a child does not know. One important responsibility of a parent is to bring this focus in their children. For example, the children resist getting up early morning. Instead of forcing this behaviour on them, the parents should make them to understand the purpose with logical facts on how the early morning has ozone and how ozone will do good for their health etc. Similarly the children will not be able to understand the connection between handwriting practice and good handwriting.

In order that the children understand the purpose, the parental communication should be focused to life skill education. In fact most of the problems of the children can be traced to the issue of attitude. Unless and until the attitude is changed, the behaviour cannot be changed. If the parents cannot communicate with children, then they should forget about having responsible children.

N C Sridharan and Radha Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

27th October 2010

"You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well."

Lewis B. Smedes

`The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong'

Mahatma Gandhi

Sometimes I used to feel angry and annoyed when someone hurts my feeling, more so those whom I love most. Sometimes hurt and abuse may come from the most unexpected people. There are times when you get abused for no reason. Many times you may be let down at a time when you want support. When these things happen to me I used to feel upset and angry. Because I am a human being, I spend sleepless nights when people I loved most let me down.

But when I read the above quotation of Mahatma Gandhi, I realize how weak they are and how strong I can become! I have decided to be become even stronger by forgiving those who will continue to hurt me, for this is the only way I can mature myself.

I want to begin my forgiveness by recalling all those who hurt my feelings, and I now understand why they hurt me – they are weak and not as strong as I am. I want to send my prayer to heal them, since I know that they also suffered while they did what they did to me.

I cannot choose a better day than today to forgive all my people, since today is my birthday! I know this is the best birthday gift I can give myself, since I feel very light after I have forgiven all. Of course, it is also an unique birthday gift to my friends and my loved ones!

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

26th October 2010

 

"The truth of the matter is that you always know the right thing to do. The hard part is doing it."

 General H. Norman Schwarzkopf

There is a difference between knowing what to do and really doing the same. We all know what to do if we want to reduce weight. We know that we should say no to sweet, say not to eating temptations, say no to fatty and oily food etc. We know that the best way to succeed in life is to nurture good relationship with people. We know that if we give up smoking, we will avoid cancer. We know that if we save today, we can secure tomorrow.

We know all this. Don't we? But do we do what we already know? If we do so, I will not be writing this and you will not be reading the same!

It calls for a willpower to do want we have to do. It calls for a focus and purpose. It calls for a determination to pursue our plan of action. It calls for a mature mindset. We need to market the outcome for any action plan and not the action plan by itself. For example, jogging everyday for half an hour is an action plan. The end result is health. Saying no to sweets is an action plan. The end result is weight reduction. More often than not we sell the idea of an action plan alone. We get convinced that we have to jog, we have to eat right etc. But we don't explore why we should do what we decided to do. Unless and until we are convinced how exciting will be the result of what we have undertaken to do.

The next important thing to do what we have undertaken to do is to know well to do it. What to do is one thing, but how well to do it is another thing. For example take early morning walking. All the walking you do is not the right way to practice walking. There is a specific way and unless you know it, you will not have the complete benefit of walking.

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Ignited Child!

 

26th October 2010

`Context – the fourth dimension'

I do hope that you are noticing a link in this series of newsletter on how to get the maximum from a child who has already all the resources required to achieve anything he or she wants. The whole thing is about how we manage our mind and that of the child. Unless the mind is programmed to perform in a particular pattern, no change in behaviour will be permanent. For programming the mind, we have been discussing various concepts and how we can use language to format the mind just like how a computer hard disc is formatted. If the computer hard disc is not formatted, it will not accept any software, and hence any input we give to the computer will not be processed and hence there will be no output.

The basic concept of NLP is so simple!

The computer metaphor is very useful to understand the functioning of the human mind. Just think when the owner of a computer will format the hard disc to accommodate a new programme? When will he upgrade a computer? When will he change the configuration of his computer? He should understand that the context in which he wants to use the computer has changed and that unless he changes the same, he will become outdated and useless. He should understand that his old processer is not anymore matching the demand necessitated by the market place.

This is the context factor.

The context factor is very relevant to the human system also. Lets say that we want a child to get up one hour early to prepare for the Board exam or you want your child to practice handwriting for an thirty minutes a day. If you think for a while you will appreciate that these new behaviour patterns are not a pleasant experience and any change is painful. Under the present mindset, the child will resist change.

However, if you make the child to understand in what context getting up one hour early or practicing handwriting for thirty minutes is relevant to his life, he will appreciate the importance of the new change.

Very simple, isn't?

N C Sridharan and Radha Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Ignited Child!

 

25th October 2010

The `Observer' or the `third position'

There are two states of mind when we solve a problem – the attached and the detached. Let's say that you want your child to learn violin, but your child wants to learn chess. You are attached to violin and your child is attached to chess! The more and more you ask your child to go to the violin class the less and less she is going to like violin. Similarly, the more and more interest she is going to show in chess, the less and less you are going to encourage. The result? Tension and ultimately broken relationship!

Suppose you look at the issue as though you are a third party? Here's a girl who does not want to learn violin, but instead wants to learn chess. What's wrong in a girl wanting to play chess? Temporarily remove from your mind that you are the father and she is your daughter and look at the chess as a game of thinking and the fun and excitement that goes with playing the game. Just look at a girl who wants to feel happy to play chess and spend her leisure time in this interesting game.

This is the third position in NLP. The beauty of NLP as a concept is the fact that it brings about a shift inside you. You will appreciate that most of us want others to change and we feel upset when others stick to their point of view.

Over this weekend, take a situation involving you and your child and you got angry that your child did not do want you wanted him to do. Take a very simple example of not getting up early in the morning. Recall how you reacted and the words you used. Recall the what happened to your relationship and rapport. Now you detach yourself from the role of a father and think how else you could have responded. Is there any other words `that father' could have used? Could `that father' have reacted in a better way?

Do this exercise and notice what happens to your response to the same situation the next day!

N C Sridharan and Radha Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

 

25th October 2010

Small is the number of people who see with their eyes and think with their minds.

~ Albert Einstein

 

If only we can be clear about two subsystems coexisting in us, most of our life's problems will be solved. They are the brain system and the mind system. I don't mind repeating it again. Brain is different and the mind is different. The drain functioning does not guarantee the mind function. You may see but not notice; you may speak but not communicate; you may hear but not listen; you may taste but not enjoy; you may feel but not experience!

Let me give another example. A camera also sees and a tape recorder hears. They are mechanical devices. A camera can `see' a hoarding on which is written `cigarette smoking is injurious to health' and register it on the film, but it does not mean anything to the camera. Similarly if your eyes read the same message without the mind understanding the implication of the message to your life, then it becomes a mere brain function just like a camera. Similarly someone advices you how to give up smoking and you merely give your ears and not your mind, it's something like a tape recorder recording the message with minute details. But if you mind does not attach the importance the message deserver, what is the use?

Day in day out we do come across a lot of information. Some of them may point to an opportunity and some others may warn about an impending threat. But if we do not think about the same and contextualize the same to our life, what's the use?

Very few people engage their mind and brain. They not only see, but also think. What about you?

N C Sridharan

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[Time-Management] Arise, awake and take charge!

 

22nd October 2010

Not knowing when the dawn will come, I open every door.

Emily Dickinson

 

Ever heard of the universal doubt `which came first, the chicken or the egg?' So is the question whether we should wait for an opportunity and get ready, or be ready to exploit any opportunity. You do not know when your idea will work and which of your ideas will work. You also do not know when an opportunity will come. Someone said opportunities come disguised as challenges.

In my time management seminars I ask the participants to ask themselves two questions:

·         Am I fit for today, and

·         Am I ready for tomorrow?

We may be very much fit for today and we may be the best in the industry. But that does not mean that we will continue to be the best tomorrow also.

For writing my book The Gift of Time, I interviewed over five hundred successful people. Some of them are world class people, leading sports personalities, media persons, writers, politicians, successful business people etc. Some of them are also very successful parents having produced world class personalities.

One common denominator I noticed in all these people is: they are always alert! They are ready for any opportunity and their response time is very fast. They always have more than one option and more than one strategy. They are restless to keep themselves in this state of readiness. They are proactive. They are creative. They are very active. They bubble with enthusiasm. Their enthusiasm is contagious. Their presence is electrifying to those who are around them!

Over this weekend, ask this question: in the last six months, how many opportunities you allowed to slip by for the only reason that you were not ready?

N C Sridharan

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