18th October 2010
`Ignited Child'
"Children are always making the best choice available to them"
Human beings are thinking beings and not merely doing beings. Each one of our action is a result of deliberate thinking and flowing from a logical conclusion. Our behaviour is not accidental. There is a process of thinking and reasoning before we do anything. Once we understand this simple but powerful presupposition, we will appreciate that merely manipulating external behaviour can only bring temporary change.
Let's us apply this principle to the way we deal with children behaviour.
When children behave in a particular way, they have consciously chosen to behave that way. The reasons for the choice are known to them. Unless and until they are voluntarily made to choose a different behaviour, there will be no change in their external actions.
It is said that we take over 100,000 decisions every day big or small such as what to say, when to say, what to eat, when to eat, to do homework or not, to reply or not, to stand or sit, so eat or not etc. Each of these decisions are as result of a deliberate choice. The problem with children is that they only know what behaviour to choose, but they are not mature enough to link the chosen behaviour with the consequence that might follow. The reason is quite simple: they have not gone through the experience of life.
The role of a parent is to engage children in an `educative conversation' so that the children know the linkage between choice and consequence. For example `Ram gets up early in the morning and so he need not hurry up to school'. `Peter spends thirty minutes a day for handwriting practice and hence his handwriting is enviable', are some of the ways in which the parent can guide the children.
You may not be aware, but you are programming the thinking process of your child which will result in a specific pattern of behaviour. You are a master programmer and your child is a super computer!
N.C. Sridharan and Radha Sridharan
000
Posts
