15th October 2010
`Ignited Child'
"Underlying every behaviour is a positive intention"
Next time when you see children either in the classroom or outside, notice what they say and what they do. More often than not we observe what they say and do and not what they intend. Even in law, a criminal action is not punishable if the intention is harmless. For example, a person can even kill another person for self-defence since the intention is not to murder.
Let me give an example to illustrate this presupposition. A teacher asked a student studying in the 2nd standard why she is not wearing the school shoes. The child questioned the teacher as to why she is not wearing shoes! The teacher was quite taken aback. Instead of taking this as an act of disobedience and lack of respect, the teacher explained the child that teachers are not given a specific uniform code with shoes. However students are expected to wear shoes and hence the act of the child not wearing shoes will not be allowed. The child accepted this logical answer. The teacher was also happy.
If you really observe the children, what they do and say will have a positive intention. An unruly child, a child who is always late to the class, a child who does not do the homework in time all will have a positive intention. In my individual counselling of the so called `irresponsible' children, I always found that the children always had some positive intention for their behaviour. Obviously no child wants to fail in the exam and no child wants to be dubbed as disobedient.
Once we understand this presupposition, we will not get angry or irritated with our children and this will give us a balanced mind to deal with their mischief objectively.
N C Sridharan and Radha Sridharan
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