22nd October 2010.
The Me, You and the Other!
Basically when we were born, we only know our wants and desires, our own feelings, our needs and requirement. This is called the `self' position in NLP. We look at the world from our own perspective and point of view. We have our own map of the world. We evaluate the world from our own rule book and values. When someone does what we like, we say they are right. Else, they are wrong!
As we grow, we interact with the first other human being, primarily the mother. We start understanding what the mother wants from us. As we grow further, we are introduced to the father, and slowly with the other members of the family. In due course of time, we start looking at the world from the other person's point of view. This is called the `other' position in NLP.
When we go through the experience called life, we become mature and try to detach ourselves and start looking at things impartially. In this situation, we are not attached to any point of view and we are open to evaluate the various issues objectively. This is called the `observer' position in NLP.
We should train ourselves to look at various issues from all the three perspectives. Take for example how do you feel when your child does not do the homework and instead watches at the `useless' television show. You get angry and blame that the child is not responsible. But did you ever place yourself in the position of your child and look at the experience of doing the homework versus watching the television? If you have the same maturity level of the child, would you switch off the television and do the homework?
With this realisation, next time when your child watches the television instead of doing the homework, notice your internal experience! You will not feel as irritated as earlier! This is the concept of `perceptual position' in NLP!
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N C Sridharan and Radha Sridharan
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