21st October 2010
"The fact that you are willing to say, `I do not understand, and it is fine,' is the greatest understanding you could exhibit."
Wayne Dyer
To understand something and someone are two different things! If you want to understand a computer or an electronic gadget, there are manuals which you can read. Or there are people who can teach you that. But understanding a person? For that matter understanding yourself? Can you say that you have understood yourself fully? Can you explain why you do something and why you do it that way? The same applies to others.
We can try to understand everything about a computer and can even feel unhappy if we have not understood some aspect our computer. The reason is the fact that if we try we can know everything about a computer. But this is not so in understanding people.
People are much difficult to understand than things. We should not be shocked or surprised if people let us down at a most crucial time. We should also not be surprised if we get the help from the most unexpected people. It's fine if we face such surprises.
So what's the remedy? May be we should not take people for granted. May be we should not depend on people too much. May be we should not assume that we have understood others well. May be we should believe that perhaps we have not understood ourselves fully.
May be you can start a new daily exercise. Every time someone lets you down, write one learning point from that experience. Every time you get some unexpected help from someone, write down how did it happen and what did you do to deserve the same? Check if you have been understood by others well. Check if you spring a surprise on others.
N C Sridharan
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