20th October 2010
`There is no such thing as failure, only feedback!'
This is a very important NLP presupposition. In life we want something and work for the same. Sometimes we may get the same, and at some other times, we may not get what we wanted. When we get what we want, we conclude we are successful. On the other hand, whenever we don't get what we aimed, we conclude we are a failure. This presupposition is useful while dealing with failure.
As explained elsewhere, NLP is a powerful tool to put us in a resourceful state of mind. We have two `states of mind' called the present and the desired. At a point of time, we may come across a failure, but such failures have to be taken as a passing cloud. We have reassure ourselves that this present failure will pass and that we are not a failure, but it merely our actions did not not yiled the desired result.
Children are very emotional and cannot control their emotions. They become very happy when they get what they want. They become very sad when they don't get what they wanted. Given their lack of maturity, they may conclude that just because they failed once, they will not succeed at all. We have to get them out of this mindset.
Children have to be taught that a failure is a feed back and not an evaluation of their real worth. If a child fails in an examination, he should be made to believe that his actions failed to produce the desired result, but that does not mean that he is a failure. The feedback is more on his effort level and not on his capacity to succeed.
If the children are made to understand the meaning of this simple presupposition, it will make a very big difference in their self image, self confidence and self worth.
N C Sridharan and Radha Sridharan
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