6th October 2010
Every man has three characters: that which he shows, that which he has, and that which he thinks he has.
Alphonse Karr
We are a complex entity! We are not always what we think we are; we are not what others think we are; sometimes what we present to the outside world need not be who we are really. You may not agree with me, but do a simple exercise: write down ten words to describe who you are, like helping, considerate, short tempered, jovial etc. Then meet some of your very close friends and ask them to make a similar list about yourself. Compare the entries in your list with that of others. You will be surprised about the contents.
We care for the opinions of others and sometimes we may not like to reveal our true self to for the fear of spoiling our social image. The same is true with respect to our friends. They may not give us the true feedback about ourselves for the fear of losing our friendship. We may not take the feedback from others as true and we may dispute, disagree or even debate.
The other day I was watching the conversation between a boss and his deputy. The boss wanted to know what the deputy thought about him and asked his deputy about his drawbacks. The deputy said, `sir, sometimes you are short tempered'. The boss said no, I'm not'. The deputy reiterated his opinion. The boss' face became red and shouted `I told you I am not short tempered, and how many times I have to tell this? You better stop commenting on me… else…'!
Well, this conversation explains the above quotation!
N C Sridharan
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